Going for the Gold Part XV: More Bullshit

After playing League of Legends for over two years and accumulating over a thousand normal games, I finally entered ranked play. In my own, totally objective, assessment, I am skilled enough for Gold. My placement matches disagreed, and threw me into Bronze II. This is the story of my attempt to prove them wrong. This is Going for the Gold.

I just pulled myself back up to positive LP in Bronze I. I first-picked Karthus, like I always do. It was Karthus (me), Darius (top), Lee Sin (jungle), Caitlyn (ADC), and Annie (support) against Morgana (mid), Yasuo (top), Elise (jungle), Varus (ADC), and Taric (support). Following the string of five losses, then a win, then three more losses that got me here, I finally managed to get into a good game as Karthus. Nah, I'm kidding: the other team had a griefer. At first, it was actually kind of annoying. I guess what happened was that when my teammates decided to invade and grabbed the enemy blue amidst the fighting, Lee Sin got mad at me because he wanted that blue buff. So he took ours and it was no big deal. And then he died and started raging at me for stealing his leash. Huh? Well, Morgana can't kill Karthus very easily in lane, and Karthus can outfarm her all day, so things weren't going too poorly for me, especially since I started out with a blue buff. Darius started out having trouble, but eventually started winning his lane. That didn't matter, though. We were losing bot, then the enemy Varus flipped out when Taric "stole" his kill. He proceeded to throw a fit and lose on purpose in order to teach Taric a lesson. And so I gained LP and have staved off demotion for another day. My final score was 11/1/4, with, of course, the highest CS. But this game was totally unfair. Varus ruined it. I hate crap like this, even when it benefits me. This game took me back up to 8 LP.

After finally winning a game, things returned to normal. And by "normal" I mean "terrible." I was fourth pick this time. We had Gangplank (mid), Riven (top), Diana (jungle), Kog'Maw (me), and Nunu (support) against Lux (mid), Wukong (top), Malphite (jungle), Draven (ADC), and Annie (support). We got off to a great start when my support took off down the lane on his own and the two enemy bot laners ambushed me from the brush near our turret, giving Draven first blood. I teleported right back in and kept minions off the turret, but Nunu went too far out again and got killed by Draven. And of course, Diana never showed up to help us, even though the lane was pushed the entire time. Diana, Gangplank, and Nunu all fed badly, and we were doomed soon. I played cautiously and did pick up some kills, but then I'd also die when my allies were wiped out and I was the only one left. No one on my team, and I mean no one, showed any interest in protecting me for fights. My final score was 6/6/8, and really, I'm surprised it was that good. Our next least-feeding player was Riven, at 4/8/3. Two of her kills were ones she took with her ult when I would have gotten them anyway. The other players on our team all did much worse. And we couldn't have lost to a more sportsmanlike team! Draven was mocking us when some of us refused to surrender, and Annie kept bragging about having more assists than our whole team had kills, or having more kills than me. I sure do love this community. Well, now I'm down to 2 LP.

For some reason, I tried another game as an ADC right after that. Well, I was last pick, so it wasn't entirely my choice. My random support this time was a lot better, though. We had Kassadin (mid), Singed (top), Shyvana (jungle), Tristana (me), and Lulu (support) against Swain (mid), Garen (top), Kha'Zix (jungle), Quinn (ADC), and Leona (support). Lulu helped me get first blood against Quinn, then killed Leona herself before Leona could escape. From there, we had an edge, but Quinn and Leona put up quite a fight. They did manage to kill me, but we remained ahead. Swain won mid though, and joined forces with Kha'Zix to destroy our bot lane. Swain kept our team behind for a while. Our Kassadin was feeling overwhelmed and even made a show of threatening to leave. I meticulously continued progressing in my Tristana build. We were still a bit behind our team caught part of their team in the river. We didn't kill any of them, but we drove them off, then started Baron. I finished Baron while my teammates guarded me, then I entered the teamfight and got a pentakill. My first pentakill in Ranked. We destroyed their mid inhibitor before they respawned. They continued to put up a fight: Swain and Quinn even managed to kill me, but ultimately, we won. Finally, for the first time this preseason, I was part of a good game in Ranked. There was some whining on our team when Swain was destroying us, and later some whining from the other team when I was destroying them, but no real raging, and no leaving or griefing or anything like that. I finished with a K/D/A of 16/6/4. I am now at 7 LP.

In my next match, I was fourth pick. I got Mordekaiser for solo top, although I was thinking about playing Swain. I hadn't played Swain in a while. I decided that since I usually did well with Mordekaiser, I'd go with him. We had Zed (mid), Mordekaiser (me), Warwick (jungle), Quinn (ADC), and Nautilus (support) against Ahri (mid), Yasuo (top), Shaco (jungle), Vayne (ADC), and Taric (support). This game was pretty uneventful for me. Yasuo couldn't kill me, but played safely and avoided dying to me. The other lanes were dominated in our favor, so I didn't really even have to do anything. In the end, I went 2/0/4. This game brought me up to 12 LP.

During my Mordekaiser game, a friend (Vladmir the Hand) called me on Skype and we did a duo queue immediately after I finished the game. It was Lux (mid), Singed (top), Shyvana (jungle), Quinn (Vladmir the Hand), and Leona (me) against Diana (mid), Renekton (top), Warwick (jungle), Sivir (ADC), and Thresh (support). I guess this was my first Ranked Leona game. It did not go well. Their team beat our team up. We tried to hold on, but we were outplayed. Also, I'm not sure why I was playing Leona in Ranked. I guess I thought it was a Normal game. Oops. Well, I went 3/5/4. After this game, I'm at 8 LP.

Following a prolonged series of re-queues, I was able to get into a game as fourth pick. Last pick requested ADC, so I took solo top as Swain. And then last pick turned out to be Vayne—against Caitlyn. About half of my team seemed to think that Caitlyn is OP. Well yeah, when you feed her that much. If you couldn't guess, we lost. It was Kha'Zix (mid), Swain (me), Evelynn (jungle), Vayne (ADC), and Nami (support) against Morgana (mid), Jax (top), Warwick (jungle), Caitlyn (ADC), and Nautilus (support). I dominated Jax in the laning phase, denying him CS, forcing Warwick to cover for him multiple times, and eventually killing him. Then he brought three friends with him and they took my outer turret while my team watched. After so many Ranked games, I shouldn't be surprised, but I really was taken aback at just how bad my teammates, with the exception of Kha'Zix, were. They couldn't win any engagement. Most importantly, they couldn't kill Caitlyn. Ever. I was on the opposite side of the map from her until toward the end of the game. After killing Morgana, I was able to engage on Caitlyn and kill her single-handedly. Later, when they were in our base, the champions protecting Caitlyn took off to pick up kills on my teammates, and I managed to get close and kill Caitlyn single-handedly a second time. Caitlyn's final K/D/A: 19/2/10. My teammates fed her all game, then whined that she was supposedly an overpowered champion. Well yeah, when you feed her that much! Our team had 14 kills in the end. The other team had 31. Completely one-sided. I think I did fine, though. I went 6/3/3. And now I'm at 4 LP.

In case I was doubting that Riot hated me with a fiery passion, I got this stupid matchup. It was Annie (mid), Nasus (top), Xin Zhao (jungle), Tristana (me), and Lux (support) against Yasuo (mid), Dr. Mundo (top), Master Yi (jungle), Vayne (ADC), and Karma (support). Yeah, my teammates fed, but I don't really care about that anymore. The worst thing about this game was that I was lagging out the entire time. I couldn't see what I was doing, because the game was constantly lagging, all while my internet was fine, the game said I had 64 FPS, I'd experienced no lag all day before this game, and my teammates claimed I was the only one lagging. Despite not being able to see a damn thing, I somehow went 2/4/1 and picked up 100 CS, which was better than any of my teammates managed. What the hell? Also, they outvoted me and surrendered 20 minutes in. How is it that the person who is crying, "So sorry, but this game is being unplayable for me" is the only one who wants to keep going? Well, I was going to do a big Ranked binge and play even more games for the rest of the night, but after that, I don't dare risk it. Such a shame. Well, that steaming pile of bullshit has brought me back down to 0 LP, right where I was at the end of my last post.

Nothing has changed. I mean, I'm thrilled to get a pentakill with Tristana and enraged that I had mysterious lag, but really, I'm right back where I was. 0 LP in Bronze I. As before, my next post could be about my demotion. It's annoying enough that I'd play another one right now to make that stop being the case, but like I said, I don't dare risk it. This sucks.