Elder Tokes: noob enemy team
Elder Tokes: Report them unskilled
DiaBahlical: Will do.
Valkos: LOL THOSE WERE BOTS NOOB
Elder Tokes: Lol whatever man
Elder Tokes: You wish
Valkos: LOL IS THIS KID FOR REAL?
Elder Tokes: Fuck you
Elder Tokes: You suck at the game
Elder Tokes: uninstall
Valkos: YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME
Valkos: THIS KID THHOUGHT HE WAS PLAYING REAL PEOPLE
Elder Tokes: Im bro cmon
Valkos: LAWL
Elder Tokes: Is this your first game nub?
Valkos: MY MAIN IS PLAT, IM JUS PLAYING AROUND
Elder Tokes: Look at their names it doesnt say Ziggs bot nub
Valkos: kid lawl kid
Elder Tokes: bro lawl bro
DiaBahlical: LOL You guys probably duoed.
Elder Tokes: I would never duo with this trash
Valkos: I DONT KNOW THIS KID
Valkos: I SOLOED
Valkos: noobcake
Elder Tokes: I always solo
Elder Tokes: I dont need a team 1v5 every game
Valkos: ONLY THING YOU SOLO IS URSELF LEL
Elder Tokes: Bro do you want to 1v1
Elder Tokes: I swear I will rek you
Valkos: ILL 1V1 UR MOM LOLO
Elder Tokes: Ill 1v1 ur granny lawl get on my level
Valkos: Yolo
Elder Tokes: Nolo
Valkos: such a fucking kid
Elder Tokes: Omfg I am ur new God
Valkos: LOL GOD IS FAKE, UR FAKE
Elder Tokes: Whatever god is not fake
Elder Tokes: Who make the heavens and the earth? NOT SCIENCE
Valkos: LOL THIS KID
Valkos: SUPER FAG
Elder Tokes: lol this bro
Elder Tokes: Someone settle this
Elder Tokes: WHo is nub?
DiaBahlical: Neither of you!
Valkos: THE GUY WHO FUCKED UR MOM LOLOL
DiaBahlical: You're both beautiful and unique snowflakes.
Elder Tokes: Nope
Elder Tokes: This guy is sleet
Elder Tokes: I am beautiful snowflake he is nub
Valkos: ^ IM LIKE A BREATH OF AIR
Valkos: FRESH
Elder Tokes: Im like fresh oj at sunrise
Valkos: UR LIKE ROTTEN MILK LAWL
Elder Tokes: No I dont
Elder Tokes: You are lie
Valkos: NO ONE WANTS YOU
Valkos: GET IN THE TRASH
Elder Tokes: You smell like trash
Elder Tokes: Food trash
Valkos: IM LIKE
Valkos: SUPER ORGIONAL
Elder Tokes: You are super nub
Elder Tokes: I am origional
Valkos: NO TIME
Valkos: IN DAT MUMS PUSS
Elder Tokes: No my mom just made breakfast, where are you hunh?
Elder Tokes: Not here
Valkos: IN DAT PUSS
Elder Tokes: Listen I will fight you in real life if you dont stop I swear to god bro
Valkos: KID, I PROB MADE U
Elder Tokes: Tell this guy he is more nub than me
Valkos: UR PROB A SKINNY LITTLE BITCH
Elder Tokes: I am king of you
Valkos: YOUR KING OF MY DICK
Elder Tokes: No you are homo
Elder Tokes: You are so homo
Valkos: YO DIA
Elder Tokes: so
Elder Tokes: homo
Valkos: NOT WHAT UR MOM SAID
Valkos: WHEN I WAS IN DAT PUSS
Valkos: U HEAR THE WALLS CREEPIN IN?
Valkos: DATS ME
Valkos: YO DIA
Valkos: YO DIABAHLICAL
DiaBahlical: Yo.
Valkos: YO DAWG
Elder Tokes: I am rubber you are glue
Elder Tokes: Every thing you say bounces from me and makes you homosexual
Valkos: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS NUBCAKE
Elder Tokes: Tell this bro I am his king
DiaBahlical: Sounds like some fabulous rubber.
Valkos: DATS WHAT UR MOM SAID LAST NIGHT
Valkos: LOLO
Elder Tokes: Tell this guy I am king of his house and his mom his my wife
DiaBahlical: Oh hey, I think Elder Tokes wanted you to be informed that he is apparently your king.
Elder Tokes: Tell him Dia
Elder Tokes: See I win
Elder Tokes: You are more nub
DiaBahlical: Apparently there has been a coup?
Valkos: LOL TELL THAT NIGGER HE ISNT NOTHING BUT A LITTLE BITCH
Valkos: JUST LIKE THAT
Valkos: THE ONLY THING HE RULES IS HOMOSEXUALITY
Elder Tokes: Tell him I am his King so he is gay
Valkos: YOLO
DiaBahlical: I don't know whether he is king or queen then.
DiaBahlical: That's too confusing.
Valkos: KING OF HOMOSEXUALITY
Valkos: SEE
Elder Tokes: I am King of you
Valkos: YOU LOOSE LITTLE GIRL
Valkos: KID, CRY, BLANKET, AND BED
Elder Tokes: Uh, well thats where you wrong I am boy
Valkos: 4 WORDS 4 UUUUUUUUUUU
Elder Tokes: I will tell you 4 words
DiaBahlical: But the part about being loose and the blanket and stuff?
Elder Tokes: I am your King
DiaBahlical: Was that still true?
DiaBahlical: Or is that also wrong?
Elder Tokes: No I am not a loose or a blanket
Valkos: NIGGER, HE IS A BLANKET
Elder Tokes: I am not a blanket I tell you again
Valkos: I GOT SOME SHADES
Valkos: THESE SHADES TELL ME URS A HOE
Valkos: BRO, I GOT SUPA FLIGHT
DiaBahlical: I am in doubt that a blanket would be able to type messages into this chat.
Elder Tokes: Yeah thats what I say
Elder Tokes: I am no blanket
Valkos: DIA, STOP PLAYING A DUMB BITCH
Valkos: I NEVER SAID NUTHIN ABNOUT A BLANKET
Valkos: HES A KID
Elder Tokes: Tell Valkos I am king and he is dirty peasant
Valkos: KIDS LIKE BLANKETS
Elder Tokes: I AM NOT A BLANKET
Valkos: ELDER TOKES SOME DICK YOLO
Elder Tokes: You take that back right now
Valkos: BRO, U WANT THE NEXT LEVEL?
Elder Tokes: I am next level
Elder Tokes: You are not
Elder Tokes: I am
Valkos: WELCOME TO THE BIG LEAGUE
DiaBahlical: Tokes dick?
Valkos: DATS RIGHT
DiaBahlical: That is some voodoo shit right there.
Valkos: GAIS LIKE HIM AMKE IT HAPPEN
DiaBahlical: Does he sever the dicks first, or just toke them while his poor victims are still attached?
Valkos: DIA TELL HIM I WIN
Elder Tokes: Dia you tell him I am league King
DiaBahlical: OK, OK.
DiaBahlical: I think I've got this.
Elder Tokes: Who is win?
DiaBahlical: Valkos, Elder Tokes is league king. Elder Tokes, Valkos win.
Valkos: nope
DiaBahlical: Did I get it right?
Elder Tokes: But which is best, league king or win?
Valkos: U DONE FUCKED UP
DiaBahlical: Damn.
Elder Tokes: Tell him I am best
DiaBahlical: Sorry.
Valkos: TELL THIS SMELLY KID IM BEST
DiaBahlical: Let's see, so...
Elder Tokes: I am transcendance
DiaBahlical: Wait, which one is the smelly kid?
Elder Tokes: Valkos
Valkos: ELDER
Valkos: ELDER TOKES A DICK
Valkos: YOLO
Elder Tokes: You take that back
Elder Tokes: I am not dick, or loose, or blanket
DiaBahlical: "Transcendence" is a big word for a little kid.
Elder Tokes: I am league king
Valkos: SHIT DAWG
DiaBahlical: Are you guys sure that Elder Tokes is a kid?
Valkos: HE HAS GOOGLE
Valkos: SEE
DiaBahlical: Ah.
Elder Tokes: I am no kid
Elder Tokes: Kid cannot King
Elder Tokes: I am king
Valkos: Aurantiaceous
Valkos: I CAN DO DAT TOO
Elder Tokes: King elder tokes not fit so I just assume all know
Valkos: KING OF DICKS YOLO
DiaBahlical: So I'm supposed to use Google to find out which of you wins?
Elder Tokes: I am literally King of San Marino
Valkos: LOL DAT AINT EVEN A PLACE
Valkos: KIDS MAKING UP SHIT
DiaBahlical: Oh, it's a place.
Elder Tokes: Uh no
Valkos: A GOOGLE PLACE
Valkos: LOLO
Elder Tokes: Uh google is bad corporation I use bing for search time
DiaBahlical: What?
DiaBahlical: Oh, hell no.
DiaBahlical: Valkos wins then.
Elder Tokes: No
Elder Tokes: I win you both
Valkos: BOOM
DiaBahlical: No, you lose, you Bing-loving blanket-child.
Valkos: THIS KID DONT EVEN KNO
Elder Tokes: You take that back immediately
Elder Tokes: I am king
Elder Tokes: I am transcendance
DiaBahlical: You can't be transcendence. That's not even possible.
Elder Tokes: Google take 7 dollars from my bank account
Elder Tokes: Its not much but it principle
Elder Tokes: So now I destroy google
Valkos: YO FUK U DIABHLICAL
Elder Tokes: Tell me your IP DIa
Valkos: STEAL KILLING THUG
Elder Tokes: I will find you and kill you rape your family
Elder Tokes: I am king your are dump trash
Elder Tokes: I am transcendance
DiaBahlical: OK, OK.
Valkos: YALL KNO MY FIGHT
Valkos: IS LIKE
DiaBahlical: 192.168.1.1
Valkos: WOW
Elder Tokes: Wrong ip
Elder Tokes: That home for all
Elder Tokes: Give me real ip you scare
DiaBahlical: LOL
DiaBahlical: What are you talking about?
Elder Tokes: I fuck you
DiaBahlical: Yeah?
Elder Tokes: Yes
Valkos: LOL DIA U GETTING PUNKED
Valkos: HE GOT U BY THE BALLS
Valkos: LAWL
Elder Tokes: Tell me you Ip
Elder Tokes: I tell you mine
Elder Tokes: We meet in middle
Elder Tokes: And I fuck you
DiaBahlical: 192.168.1.1
Elder Tokes: No
Valkos: ROLFCOPTOR
Elder Tokes: Dont play coy with me spaceman
DiaBahlical: Why, whatever are you talking about?
Valkos: DIA U GETTING PUNKED SO HARD DAWG
Elder Tokes: I TALK YOUR MOTHER
Elder Tokes: I TALK YOUR GRANDMOTHER
Elder Tokes: I TALK YOU
Elder Tokes: MY DICK
Elder Tokes: I AM TRANSCENDANCE
DiaBahlical: Sorry, I don't know what you mean by "I TALK YOU MY DICK."
Elder Tokes: Take a picture it will last longer
DiaBahlical: Would you like me to do a web search for it?
Elder Tokes: and then i fuck you with it
Valkos: DIAS UR RESPONSE IS MAKIN U LOOK LIKE A LITTKE BITCH
Elder Tokes: I put harness on your grandma
Elder Tokes: Ride her like camal
DiaBahlical: Wait, you'd fuck me with a picture?
DiaBahlical: How would that work?
DiaBahlical: What are the details?
Elder Tokes: You will see
DiaBahlical: No, tell me now!
Elder Tokes: WORLD OF PAIN
Elder Tokes: I SAY YOU FIND OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Valkos: YO DIABAH
Valkos: A/S/L?
Elder Tokes: YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DiaBahlical: 28/M/Seattle
Valkos: UZE A BITCH
Elder Tokes: Seatlle hahahahaha
Elder Tokes: You are gay boy
Elder Tokes: Nothing from Seattle but steer and queer you farmer HAHAHAHA
DiaBahlical: Well yeah.
DiaBahlical: But I thought you were too!
DiaBahlical: After all those times you promised to fuck me.
Elder Tokes: I am King of san Marino
Elder Tokes: NO
Elder Tokes: NOT FUCK YOU LIKE WOMAN
Elder Tokes: FUCK YOU LIKE JAIL MAN
Valkos: HES KING OF QUEER, AND LOOKS LIKE UR HIS QUEEN LAWL
Elder Tokes: TAKE YOUR DIGINITY AND LIFE FORCE
DiaBahlical: I'm afraid I don't follow.
Elder Tokes: I AM TRANSCENDANCE
DiaBahlical: Yeah, you've said that.
Elder Tokes: I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID
Elder Tokes: YOU SAID YOUA RE GAY
Valkos: LOL YOU'VE SAID THAT IS INCORRECT
Elder Tokes: I WIL KILL YOU I SWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Valkos: YO EVAN
Elder Tokes: Youa re from seattle
Elder Tokes: You are Frasier Crane
Elder Tokes: I am Carl jung
Elder Tokes: You suck my dick now
Valkos: I AM SIGMUND FRUED
DiaBahlical: Whoa, but Carl Jung is dead...
DiaBahlical: You guys are both dead?
Elder Tokes: It was fake
DiaBahlical: I didn't know ghosts played League.
Elder Tokes: I got tired of being celebrity hunk
Valkos: I GOT YOUR PSYCHOANALYSIS THEORY RIGHT HERE
DiaBahlical: Wait, so Carl Jung faked his own death?
Elder Tokes: Yes I did
Elder Tokes: And become King of San Marino
DiaBahlical: But he'd be dead by now anyway.
Elder Tokes: DO YOU NOT LISTEN?!?!?!?!?!
Elder Tokes: I AM TRANSCENDANCE
DiaBahlical: So by doing this transcendent dance, you've managed to live for over 130 years?
DiaBahlical: Tell me more!
Elder Tokes: OVer 1,300 years
DiaBahlical: Not that kind of more!
Elder Tokes: If I tell you I have to kill
Elder Tokes: Which I will do already
DiaBahlical: So, what's the problem then?
Elder Tokes: I hate you
DiaBahlical: Aw.
Elder Tokes: I found your IP
Elder Tokes: Big mistake
Elder Tokes: I AM KING
Elder Tokes: I AM TRANSCENDANCE
Elder Tokes: PREPARE TO DIE
DiaBahlical: Aw, he left.
DiaBahlical: Well Valkos, despite your antics, I'm still awarding victory to you.
DiaBahlical: So congratulations.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Going for the Gold Part XVIII: Ladder Reset
After playing League of Legends for over two years and accumulating
over a thousand normal games, I finally entered ranked play. In my own,
totally objective, assessment, I am skilled enough for Gold. My
placement matches disagreed, and threw me into Bronze II. This is the
story of my attempt to prove them wrong. This is Going for the Gold.
The ladder rest happened. I knew it was coming, but somehow there was enough of a delay and no real warning until it was too late, so it took me by surprise and I never finished that promo series. I knew going into this that I had a second chance of sorts. Doing placement matches again, I might end up starting out higher in Season 4 than I'd ever been in Season 3. There was also the possibility that I could end up even lower, and that was so daunting that I hesitated to even start.
Ultimately, it was the prospect of playing with Nick that got me motivated to get back to Ranked play. My first eight placement matches were done in a duo queue with him. Nick was team captain every time and I was last pick every time. In the last two games, I queued alone and was fourth pick both times.
In my first placement match, we had Zilean (mid), Nidalee (top), Tryndamere (jungle), Tristana (me), and Leona (Nick). The other team consisted of Ziggs (mid), Dr. Mundo (top), Nasus (jungle), Sivir (ADC), and Thresh (support). Our lane opponents bullied us and pushed constantly, but it didn't really matter. The other lanes fed massively and there was an early surrender, with me as the only no vote. My final K/D/A was 0/0/0. I was able to Rocket Jump to escape from some attempted kills, but couldn't salvage the game sufficiently to stop the surrender.
In my second placement match, we had Syndra (mid), Jax (top), Xin Zhao (jungle), Tristana (me), and Sona (Nick). The other team consisted of Ziggs (mid), Renekton (top), Master Yi (jungle), Jinx (ADC), and Leona (support). This game was closer than the previous one, but still managed to be another display of Ziggs getting fed. I was 1/1/1, I think, at some point, but I started to be more aggressive because I didn't want to repeat the previous game. When I couldn't pick up any kills and kept getting caught, I went back to being cautious, but it didn't matter: Ziggs and Master Yi were both fed enough that they could take any turret together by killing everyone under it. I ended up going 1/7/1 and flipping out about the feeders, which hopefully at least amused Nick.
In my third placement match, I finally got Karthus. The rest of our team consisted of Wukong (Nick), Shyvana (jungle), Jinx (ADC), and Leona (support). The other team had Cho'Gath (mid), Nasus (top), Olaf (jungle), Ezreal (ADC), and Janna (support). There is no way for Cho'Gath to stop Karthus from farming, so my lane was essentially secured. Nick also won his lane, and managed to get Olaf to camp top in the process. It didn't matter. Once again, our allies were just that bad. I went 14/5/7, but it wasn't enough, and we lost.
I'll preface the fourth placement match my noting that, as usual, I was last pick. I couldn't pick Mordekaiser because the other team had him, but I was worried that he'd be soloing top, which was the lane I'd be in. They also had Singed, so I couldn't pick him. I wasn't going to pick Swain, Sion, or Nasus against Mordekaiser, so I was at a loss. I was supposed to solo top, and none of my champions were even available. With the clock running down, I picked Cho'Gath. It turned out to be Fizz (mid), Cho'Gath (me), Fiddlesticks (jungle), Draven (ADC), and Morgana (Nick supporting) against Mordekaiser (mid), Singed (top), Malphite (jungle), Ashe (ADC), and Thresh (support). This game was like a mirror of my first three placement matches. No one on our team was particularly bad and almost everyone on the other team was. I didn't really do much, but I held top lane and killed some of them when they tried to fight me there. My final K/D/A was 3/1/3. This was the first placement match victory for me and also for Nick.
The fifth placement match was just stupid. Nick had taken the jungle and one person picked Janna as a support. Those two were fine. We also had a Malzahar and a Warwick, but the Malzahar player called top, so that left us needing an ADC, but also not having a real mid against their Cassiopeia. Nick told me to just pick Karthus. I inquired and got no response, so I picked Karthus. The Janna player said I should go ADC, so I switched to Tristana. I went bot and so did Janna, but then Warwick eventually went bot too, and continued to ignore the rest of us. With mid completely undefended, I was forced to switch. Tristana didn't stand a chance against Cassiopeia. We'd have lost for sure, but the enemy Nasus was a no-show. That left Teemo against Malzahar, me against Cassiopeia, and Janna with the useless Warwick against the enemy bot lane of Caitlyn and Sona. We were disadvantaged in every lane, but had Nick to back us up. Because it was 5 vs. 4, we could win fights, but our teammates never capitalized on that, so Nick and I did it for them. We died a lot, but we took the objectives we needed to take. Nick saved this already stupid game from being and even stupider upset, despite being too drunk to land skillshots. I went 6/7/4.
In my sixth placement match, we had Ziggs (mid), Jax (solo top), Kha'Zix (jungle), Tristana (me), and Lux (Nick supporting). Nick was already whining about me picking Tristana. He'd wanted me to go Karthus mid, which I'd wanted too, but I was last pick and didn't get it. We were up against Heimerdinger (mid), Garen (top), Lee Sin (jungle), Caitlyn (ADC), and Lulu (support). Our lane didn't go too well and Lee Sin wrecked everyone while our jungler didn't help us at all. Our Ziggs fed Heimerdinger and the whole thing looked to be a disaster. Eventually the game ran long enough that we started coming out ahead in fights. I got full build and still couldn't pick up kills without dying, but we were coming out ahead, so whatever. Ultimately, we won. I went 9/9/7. This took me to a neutral record in my placement matches, which made me feel a bit better. I was still pretty annoyed that I couldn't have a single good Tristana game. I'd been dominating with her before this season.
For my seventh placement match, Nick first picked Nidalee "fill." We had Kayle (mid), Gangplank (top), Xin Zhao (jungle), Tristana (me), and Nidalee (Nick supporting) against Teemo (mid), Pantheon (top), Vi (jungle), Twitch (ADC), and Lulu (support). Despite Vi's exclusive focus on me, our lane went pretty well. We were losing overall, but I thought things would work out. I started picking up kills. I got another one. And then Pantheon leapt onto me and instantly killed me. I joked to Nick, "Who fed Pantheon? His damage is crazy." Then I looked at the scoreboard and saw that Pantheon had twelve kills. Oh. We tried, but yeah, can't carry feeders, I guess. It sounds so cynical, but it seems pretty applicable as far as this game went. My final K/D/A was 8/6/3.
In my last placement match with Nick, he first picked Nidalee "fill" again. This was the one where a teammate whined about Nidalee being a bad support. Nick responded, "So pick a better one." No one else wanted to support, so Nick was Nidalee support again. Nick's critic jungled as Xin Zhao, but spent more time flaming Nick in the chat than actually playing the damn game. We had Ashe as an ADC. Our fourth pick took Mordekaiser. I asked if I was going mid or top. The Mordekaiser player offered to take either, and so did I, so the decision ended up being Mordekaiser mid. I took Swain as my top, then the Mordekaiser player switched to Renekton and went top. Dammit. That left me with Swain against LeBlanc mid. Renekton laned top against Pantheon. The enemy team had Miss Fortune and Leona for their bot lane and Aatrox as their jungler. LeBlanc couldn't kill me, but Aatrox harassed me and kept me from winning my lane. Eventually, they'd all just let me free-farm mid until I was forced to push or retreat, then they'd send three or four people after me. Renekton trounced Pantheon, but Xin Zhao didn't help the team (too busy raging about Nidalee support) and our Ashe was completely clueless. Nick thought that he was matched up with a new player. It seemed to be the case. We had too many competent foes for a starved Nidalee support, a Swain who'd been bullied by multiple opponents for most of the game, and a Renekton to deal with. Xin Zhao and Ashe were usually dead weight. Our team was destroyed. I went 3/8/4. I did what I could to distract the enemy team, but we had no DPS to actually make that a viable tactic.
Nick had lost two placement matches before I joined him, so that match placed him in Bronze III: Syndra's Shadows. I still had two more. I figured if I could win just one of the two, I'd be have more placement match wins than Nick, and be placed higher than him. Even if I lost both, I'd still be tied with him, so maybe we'd be placed in the same division.
For my ninth placement match, everything but bot lane was picked by the time it was my turn. Again. So it was Gragas (mid), Renekton (top), Nocturne (jungle), Tristana (me), and Kayle (feed) against Fizz (mid), Teemo (top), Syvana (jungle), Lucian (ADC), and Thresh (support). Despite not actually having a support (Kayle made no attempt to support me whatsoever, opting instead to wander around, get killed, and steal CS), I held my lane. All four of my teammates fed, although all but Renekton also managed to kill enough while doing so to mitigate that, at least for a while. As usual, I didn't have time to carry before our nexus was swarmed and destroyed. I went 7/3/9.
I had one more chance. And this time, I got mid, so I had my Karthus. I was with Malphite (top), Udyr (jungle), Varus (ADC), and Leona (support). The other team consisted of Ziggs (mid), Aatrox (top), Hecarim (jungle), Kog'Maw (ADC), and Nidalee (support). As usual, I got farmed and fed. We were winning for a while, then it came to teamfights. They had far superior poking power. In theory, this could be cancelled out with Malphite and Leona to initiate for us. And that was my hope, right up until the end. Malphite and Leona had other plans. Those plans all involved being poked to death and didn't involve anything other than being poked to death. So of course, we lost. I went 12/3/8.
My placement matches have thrown me into Bronze V. I knew there was a possibility that I'd end up lower than I'd started after my first placement matches. I honestly didn't think, not even for a moment, that I'd ever end up at the bottom of Bronze V. I don't know what to say about this right now.
The ladder rest happened. I knew it was coming, but somehow there was enough of a delay and no real warning until it was too late, so it took me by surprise and I never finished that promo series. I knew going into this that I had a second chance of sorts. Doing placement matches again, I might end up starting out higher in Season 4 than I'd ever been in Season 3. There was also the possibility that I could end up even lower, and that was so daunting that I hesitated to even start.
Ultimately, it was the prospect of playing with Nick that got me motivated to get back to Ranked play. My first eight placement matches were done in a duo queue with him. Nick was team captain every time and I was last pick every time. In the last two games, I queued alone and was fourth pick both times.
In my first placement match, we had Zilean (mid), Nidalee (top), Tryndamere (jungle), Tristana (me), and Leona (Nick). The other team consisted of Ziggs (mid), Dr. Mundo (top), Nasus (jungle), Sivir (ADC), and Thresh (support). Our lane opponents bullied us and pushed constantly, but it didn't really matter. The other lanes fed massively and there was an early surrender, with me as the only no vote. My final K/D/A was 0/0/0. I was able to Rocket Jump to escape from some attempted kills, but couldn't salvage the game sufficiently to stop the surrender.
In my second placement match, we had Syndra (mid), Jax (top), Xin Zhao (jungle), Tristana (me), and Sona (Nick). The other team consisted of Ziggs (mid), Renekton (top), Master Yi (jungle), Jinx (ADC), and Leona (support). This game was closer than the previous one, but still managed to be another display of Ziggs getting fed. I was 1/1/1, I think, at some point, but I started to be more aggressive because I didn't want to repeat the previous game. When I couldn't pick up any kills and kept getting caught, I went back to being cautious, but it didn't matter: Ziggs and Master Yi were both fed enough that they could take any turret together by killing everyone under it. I ended up going 1/7/1 and flipping out about the feeders, which hopefully at least amused Nick.
In my third placement match, I finally got Karthus. The rest of our team consisted of Wukong (Nick), Shyvana (jungle), Jinx (ADC), and Leona (support). The other team had Cho'Gath (mid), Nasus (top), Olaf (jungle), Ezreal (ADC), and Janna (support). There is no way for Cho'Gath to stop Karthus from farming, so my lane was essentially secured. Nick also won his lane, and managed to get Olaf to camp top in the process. It didn't matter. Once again, our allies were just that bad. I went 14/5/7, but it wasn't enough, and we lost.
I'll preface the fourth placement match my noting that, as usual, I was last pick. I couldn't pick Mordekaiser because the other team had him, but I was worried that he'd be soloing top, which was the lane I'd be in. They also had Singed, so I couldn't pick him. I wasn't going to pick Swain, Sion, or Nasus against Mordekaiser, so I was at a loss. I was supposed to solo top, and none of my champions were even available. With the clock running down, I picked Cho'Gath. It turned out to be Fizz (mid), Cho'Gath (me), Fiddlesticks (jungle), Draven (ADC), and Morgana (Nick supporting) against Mordekaiser (mid), Singed (top), Malphite (jungle), Ashe (ADC), and Thresh (support). This game was like a mirror of my first three placement matches. No one on our team was particularly bad and almost everyone on the other team was. I didn't really do much, but I held top lane and killed some of them when they tried to fight me there. My final K/D/A was 3/1/3. This was the first placement match victory for me and also for Nick.
The fifth placement match was just stupid. Nick had taken the jungle and one person picked Janna as a support. Those two were fine. We also had a Malzahar and a Warwick, but the Malzahar player called top, so that left us needing an ADC, but also not having a real mid against their Cassiopeia. Nick told me to just pick Karthus. I inquired and got no response, so I picked Karthus. The Janna player said I should go ADC, so I switched to Tristana. I went bot and so did Janna, but then Warwick eventually went bot too, and continued to ignore the rest of us. With mid completely undefended, I was forced to switch. Tristana didn't stand a chance against Cassiopeia. We'd have lost for sure, but the enemy Nasus was a no-show. That left Teemo against Malzahar, me against Cassiopeia, and Janna with the useless Warwick against the enemy bot lane of Caitlyn and Sona. We were disadvantaged in every lane, but had Nick to back us up. Because it was 5 vs. 4, we could win fights, but our teammates never capitalized on that, so Nick and I did it for them. We died a lot, but we took the objectives we needed to take. Nick saved this already stupid game from being and even stupider upset, despite being too drunk to land skillshots. I went 6/7/4.
In my sixth placement match, we had Ziggs (mid), Jax (solo top), Kha'Zix (jungle), Tristana (me), and Lux (Nick supporting). Nick was already whining about me picking Tristana. He'd wanted me to go Karthus mid, which I'd wanted too, but I was last pick and didn't get it. We were up against Heimerdinger (mid), Garen (top), Lee Sin (jungle), Caitlyn (ADC), and Lulu (support). Our lane didn't go too well and Lee Sin wrecked everyone while our jungler didn't help us at all. Our Ziggs fed Heimerdinger and the whole thing looked to be a disaster. Eventually the game ran long enough that we started coming out ahead in fights. I got full build and still couldn't pick up kills without dying, but we were coming out ahead, so whatever. Ultimately, we won. I went 9/9/7. This took me to a neutral record in my placement matches, which made me feel a bit better. I was still pretty annoyed that I couldn't have a single good Tristana game. I'd been dominating with her before this season.
For my seventh placement match, Nick first picked Nidalee "fill." We had Kayle (mid), Gangplank (top), Xin Zhao (jungle), Tristana (me), and Nidalee (Nick supporting) against Teemo (mid), Pantheon (top), Vi (jungle), Twitch (ADC), and Lulu (support). Despite Vi's exclusive focus on me, our lane went pretty well. We were losing overall, but I thought things would work out. I started picking up kills. I got another one. And then Pantheon leapt onto me and instantly killed me. I joked to Nick, "Who fed Pantheon? His damage is crazy." Then I looked at the scoreboard and saw that Pantheon had twelve kills. Oh. We tried, but yeah, can't carry feeders, I guess. It sounds so cynical, but it seems pretty applicable as far as this game went. My final K/D/A was 8/6/3.
In my last placement match with Nick, he first picked Nidalee "fill" again. This was the one where a teammate whined about Nidalee being a bad support. Nick responded, "So pick a better one." No one else wanted to support, so Nick was Nidalee support again. Nick's critic jungled as Xin Zhao, but spent more time flaming Nick in the chat than actually playing the damn game. We had Ashe as an ADC. Our fourth pick took Mordekaiser. I asked if I was going mid or top. The Mordekaiser player offered to take either, and so did I, so the decision ended up being Mordekaiser mid. I took Swain as my top, then the Mordekaiser player switched to Renekton and went top. Dammit. That left me with Swain against LeBlanc mid. Renekton laned top against Pantheon. The enemy team had Miss Fortune and Leona for their bot lane and Aatrox as their jungler. LeBlanc couldn't kill me, but Aatrox harassed me and kept me from winning my lane. Eventually, they'd all just let me free-farm mid until I was forced to push or retreat, then they'd send three or four people after me. Renekton trounced Pantheon, but Xin Zhao didn't help the team (too busy raging about Nidalee support) and our Ashe was completely clueless. Nick thought that he was matched up with a new player. It seemed to be the case. We had too many competent foes for a starved Nidalee support, a Swain who'd been bullied by multiple opponents for most of the game, and a Renekton to deal with. Xin Zhao and Ashe were usually dead weight. Our team was destroyed. I went 3/8/4. I did what I could to distract the enemy team, but we had no DPS to actually make that a viable tactic.
Nick had lost two placement matches before I joined him, so that match placed him in Bronze III: Syndra's Shadows. I still had two more. I figured if I could win just one of the two, I'd be have more placement match wins than Nick, and be placed higher than him. Even if I lost both, I'd still be tied with him, so maybe we'd be placed in the same division.
For my ninth placement match, everything but bot lane was picked by the time it was my turn. Again. So it was Gragas (mid), Renekton (top), Nocturne (jungle), Tristana (me), and Kayle (feed) against Fizz (mid), Teemo (top), Syvana (jungle), Lucian (ADC), and Thresh (support). Despite not actually having a support (Kayle made no attempt to support me whatsoever, opting instead to wander around, get killed, and steal CS), I held my lane. All four of my teammates fed, although all but Renekton also managed to kill enough while doing so to mitigate that, at least for a while. As usual, I didn't have time to carry before our nexus was swarmed and destroyed. I went 7/3/9.
I had one more chance. And this time, I got mid, so I had my Karthus. I was with Malphite (top), Udyr (jungle), Varus (ADC), and Leona (support). The other team consisted of Ziggs (mid), Aatrox (top), Hecarim (jungle), Kog'Maw (ADC), and Nidalee (support). As usual, I got farmed and fed. We were winning for a while, then it came to teamfights. They had far superior poking power. In theory, this could be cancelled out with Malphite and Leona to initiate for us. And that was my hope, right up until the end. Malphite and Leona had other plans. Those plans all involved being poked to death and didn't involve anything other than being poked to death. So of course, we lost. I went 12/3/8.
My placement matches have thrown me into Bronze V. I knew there was a possibility that I'd end up lower than I'd started after my first placement matches. I honestly didn't think, not even for a moment, that I'd ever end up at the bottom of Bronze V. I don't know what to say about this right now.
Going for the Gold Part XVII: I forgot to publish this one about a month ago...
After playing League of Legends for over two years and accumulating
over a thousand normal games, I finally entered ranked play. In my own,
totally objective, assessment, I am skilled enough for Gold. My
placement matches disagreed, and threw me into Bronze II. This is the
story of my attempt to prove them wrong. This is Going for the Gold.
These games are old news, but apparently I forgot to publish a post for them. I guess I thought I'd play Ranked again and maybe get a few more games in before posting this and letting the ladder reset happen. That didn't happen. The following is what I'd typed in late December...
And that was it. After my favorite Ranked game ever, I took a break. I stayed right where I was, at the top of Bronze II and needing to complete a promo series to get back into Bronze I, up until the ladder reset. It's a dumb, anticlimactic way to conclude the first season of my Ranked journey, but it's what apparently happened.
These games are old news, but apparently I forgot to publish a post for them. I guess I thought I'd play Ranked again and maybe get a few more games in before posting this and letting the ladder reset happen. That didn't happen. The following is what I'd typed in late December...
In what I hope is the beginning of a second rapid ascension out of Bronze II, I just played a Karthus game. I second-picked Karthus, although third pick had called mid. Our third pick didn't complain and proceeded to take Diana top. Our team ended up being Karthus (me), Diana (top), Lee Sin (jungle), Varus (ADC), and Alistar (support) against LeBlanc (mid), Rengar (top), Shyvana (jungle), Sivir (ADC), and Taric (support). LeBlanc is a dangerous opponent, and is thought, by some, to counter Karthus. I've found that she's actually worse at preventing Karthus from farming than some other burst champions. My hope was to keep her occupied without dying, knowing that I'd become more powerful as the game went on. LeBlanc couldn't kill me, but thwarted my plan by roaming extensively and picking up kills elsewhere on the map, which I couldn't stop. Well, not at first. Fortunately, my CS allowed me to keep up. I picked up some kills, then intercepted attempts to gank Lee Sin and Diana, who both helped me pick up even more. My final K/D/A was 11/2/10. This win has earned me 16 LP, bringing me to 91, albeit still in Bronze II.
Well, I'm crazy. Or maybe I just stopped giving a fuck. I'm finally taking my Sion into Ranked play. I'm typing this part while the game loads. We needed physical damage from a solo top, and I'm really not well-versed in any AD tops. I've almost always played AP when I've gone top. I initially chose Kayle, then switched to Sion because I'm stupid. We'll see how this goes...
It went pretty well. Specifically, it went so well that I got a pentakill. I mean, we were losing pretty badly and I was only barely able to turn the game around, but I did turn it around. To start out, we had Swain (mid) Sion (me), Amumu (jungle), Miss Fortune (ADC), and Blitzcrank (support) against Yasuo (mid), Jax (top), Jarvan IV (jungle), Lucian (ADC), and Sona (support). Jax didn't show up right away, so I was able to get more early CS than normal. I don't think it mattered in the end, though. Their Jarvan bullied me to help Jax get caught up, and Amumu didn't do me much good in the laning phase. Swain, playing aggressively, managed to both feed and to get fed himself. But most of his deaths went to Yasuo, who snowballed massively. I'm still not sure what to think of Yasuo as a champion, but he really can snowball. As always with Sion, I had to take breaks to clear waves and keep my health growing, which potentially costed my team some fights. Jax and Yasuo both got fed. With Jarvan to tank for them, they seemed unstoppable. I became tanky enough to hold them off for a while, but it wasn't really preventing us from losing. Probably everyone in the game thought it was coming to a close, 40 minutes in, when they grouped up to push into our base. Amumu ulted their team, then Sona ulted our team. I came in chopping away. Miss Fortune, having been forced by Jax to circle around the fight, avoided the Sona ult and arrived to use her own ult, which dropped Jarvan, Jax, and Yasuo low enough them. I took Jarvan out as Yasuo killed Blitzcrank, then rushed Jax and killed him right after Yasuo caught and killed Miss Fortune. With Jax dead, Swain escaped toward our nexus. Yasuo took Amumu down, scoring a triple kill. Yasuo stayed to try finishing me off next, so Lucian and Sona remained right behind him. I dropped Yasuo, then caught Sona as she ran past me. Lucian was the only one left on their team, so I popped my Ghost. He used Flash to escape, but then turned around and shot at me as I stunned him, then killed him for my second Ranked pentakill ever and my first pentakill with Sion. From there, we won another fight, this time while contesting Baron Nashor, and proceeded to win the game. My final K/D/A was 10/5/12. My final health was 4,020. This match has qualified me for a promotional series. I'm still a bit sore about the whole demotion thing, but this match has left me quite pleased. I took a big risk bringing Sion into a Ranked game. This time, it worked out. I'll have to think about when I want to try it again.
And that was it. After my favorite Ranked game ever, I took a break. I stayed right where I was, at the top of Bronze II and needing to complete a promo series to get back into Bronze I, up until the ladder reset. It's a dumb, anticlimactic way to conclude the first season of my Ranked journey, but it's what apparently happened.
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