Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Going for the Gold Part XLIV: Still Skirting Demotion

Three seasons in a row, I sought Gold, but remained stuck in Bronze. Am I delusional? Let's see what happens this time around. I got a late start to this season and I've been thrown into Bronze again by placement matches. This is the story of my attempt to turn reverse the trends of previous seasons. This is Going for the Gold.

Mid: Karthus (me)
Top: Malphite
Jungle: Vi
Marksman: Lucian
Support: Thresh
vs.
Mid: Fiddlesticks
Top: Riven
Jungle: Pantheon
Marksman: Sivir
Support: Leona
My team had positive attitudes initially, but that quickly degenerated. I knew that Fiddlesticks would be a tough lane, but if he couldn't get fed, I'd outfarm him and be fine. That was happening, although I fed him one kill by accident (I saw him draining a minion and didn't back away, but he was actually draining me, because apparently I was hallucinating until it was too late), I also got him ganked twice due to his aggression, so I was initially ahead, but he got fed by roaming, as did the whole rest of their team. Malphite and I were ahead, but the rest of the team fed hard. We fell further and further behind, but I was getting stronger and had some hope of holding out for late game. Then my teammates all surrendered at 27 minutes in. So much for that. In the end, I went 5/6/4, but I don't even count this one. I was doing fine and then got screwed out of a chance to fight back by surrendering teammates. Also, they fed Sivir. I keep having teammates that feed Sivir. My status message before this game was already, "Stop feeding Sivir." Yes, really. It just keeps happening. Down to 2 LP now.

Mid: Malzahar (me)
Top: Shen
Jungle: Amumu
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Morgana
vs.
Mid: Ahri
Top: Pantheon
Jungle: Nidalee
Marksman: Graves
Support: Sona
My team began bickering and flaming each other before the match started. They raged, went AFK, and actively encouraged the enemy team to defeat us. The only one I didn't report was Jinx, and she played badly anyway. For my part, I was constantly ganked by Nidalee and Pantheon, even as I killed Ahri before being finished off. Where does matchmaking find these people? In the end, I went 2/9/3, which isn't so bad against a fed enemy team when not one of my allies is helping me in anyway the entire time. So yeah, down to 0 LP, because somehow this is fair. Bullshit.

Mid: Karthus (me)
Top: Singed
Jungle: Xin Zhao
Marksman: Caitlyn
Support: Blitzcrank
vs.
Mid: Nidalee
Top: Fiora
Jungle: Volibear
Marksman: Ezreal
Support: Gangplank (built AD, but played as a support anyway)
I was pretty confident against Nidalee mid. She can be a huge bully early on, but I outscale her damage easily. Well, she bullied me relentlessly, then Volibear ganked me under my turret and killed me. Then, yet again, I was outnumbered by roaming enemies and repeatedly killed in my lane while my allies made no attempt to help me. They descended into bickering, as usual, and we were thoroughly trounced. Mid is my best role and I'm playing some my best champions, but I'm losing hard. I almost never have a negative kill/death ratio as Karthus, and yet it's happened twice today. I don't even think that I'm playing badly. I just have no opportunities in these games. My opponents are skilled and my allies are not. Matchmaking wants me to be demoted. That's the only conclusion I can draw from what's happening here. In the end, I went 0/3/4. Not securing any early kills and being denied CS by a bullying team set me behind the whole time, so I couldn't get enough damage to pick up kills. I'm in disbelief right now. Karthus has been my main from the beginning. He's my best champion. Yeah, I've always had a negative win/loss ratio with him, but that's down to feeding teammates. I've generally gotten fed and held my own with him, even while losing. But now I'm being beaten. And it's not even by superior opponents. I'm not losing to just one person. I'm losing to coordinated efforts by opponents while my allies ignore my plight and proceed to rage at each other. I'm stubborn, but I don't know that I'm this stubborn. These matches are downright depressing.

Mid: Malzahar (me)
Top: Nasus
Jungle: Master Yi
Marksman: Sivir
Support: Leona
vs.
Mid: Viktor
Top: Shyvana
Jungle: Rek'Sai
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Morgana
Well, I went mid yet again. This time, I managed to trounce my lane opponent without dying to ganks. Rek'Sai tried, and actually tried quite a bit, but I survived. Meanwhile, bot lane Sivir got fed as always, but this time she was on my team for once. It took a long time for me to start scoring kills, but once I did I began to snowball, joining the fed Yi and even more fed Sivir. The other team held us off for a while, but surrendered around the 29 minute mark, by which point I went 6/2/6. This win saves me from demotion again, and now I'm up to 26 LP.

Mid: Akali
Top: Gnar
Jungle: Warwick
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Sona (me)
vs.
Mid: Yasuo
Top: Riven
Jungle: Hecarim
Marksman: Kalista
Support: Brand
Our Jinx wasn't particularly good, but I supported the crap out of her, so she got enough to become useful. Our Warwick and Akali were stellar. Warwick controlled the jungle so much that we eventually got five dragons, while also controlling Baron. I roamed and help my team, mostly Akali, to win skirmishes. Late game I was tanky enough to rush into the other team and bully them, forcing them to focus me, bursting me down, as Akali swept through and killed them all. In the end, I went 4/4/29. Two wins in a row has brought me nearly back to a neutral win/loss ratio of 15 wins, 16 losses, and now I have 52 LP.

Mid: Karthus (me)
Top: Rek'Sai
Jungle: Udyr
Marksman: Vayne
Support: Sona
vs.
Mid: Katarina
Top: Tryndamere
Jungle: Sejuani
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Shen
Katarina played too passively and ran into too many of my Lay Wastes, so I easily won lane. I snowballed and would have carried my teammates, but of course they fed hard enough to counteract me. It was a reasonably close match in the end, but the feeders fed and it was too much. Big surprise, since that's my typical Ranked Karthus match. In the end, I went 16/5/11. Down to 33 LP.

Mid: Ezreal (AD)
Top: Nasus
Jungle: Lee Sin
Marksman: Kalista
Support: Galio (me)
vs.
Mid: Diana
Top: Malphite
Jungle: Xin Zhao
Marksman: Varus
Support: Sona
Kalista flipped out and griefed for no apparent reason. So we lost. In the end, I went 3/7/6 trying to tank for my allies. It was hard to do well when my lane partner was intentionally feeding. Down to 14 LP. Yay, Ranked!

Mid: Yasuo
Top: Singed (me)
Jungle: Diana
Marksman: Tristana
Support: Malphite
vs.
Mid: Zed
Top: Garen
Jungle: Vi
Marksman: Varus
Support: Karma
Yasuo did well in the laning phase, but kept trying to break away from the team and overxtend, then would whine about not having any help. I won lane decisively and proceeded to have Singed do what Singed does. In the end, I went 7/1/14. Up to 32 LP now.

Mid: Diana
Top: Malzahar
Jungle: Udyr (me)
Marksman: Caitlyn
Support: Soraka
vs.
Mid: Heimerdinger
Top: Wukong
Jungle: Talon
Marksman: Lucian
Support: Morgana
This one was all my fault. I should never play Udyr. My whole team thought so. I think I just lack the jungling skills to do much when all three lanes start feeding right away. But seriously, these people were strange and delusional. Malzahar fed throughout the laning phase and attributed it all to losing one early fight, and that he couldn't catch up. Diana whined about me "diving" Heimerdinger even though I never did any such thing, hadn't died to Heimerdinger at all by that point (I did later kill him when he was fed and died to his rockets in the process, but that hadn't happened yet) and she had fed him several kills on her own. Caitlyn pinged and requested help in the chat at the turret when she was still dead and there were three fed enemy champions pushing that turret, then blamed the fact that we were losing on me. Soraka outfed them all. In the end, I went 4/3/5. Not great, but the next best was probably the Malzahar who managed to stop feeding once the laning phase was over, hid in the base and only went 1/6/3. Down to 18 LP. In past seasons it would let me climb to Bronze II or even Bronze I before dialing the bullshit up to 11. This time, I'm still only in Bronze III and seriously still in danger of demotion to Bronze IV. How exciting! Hey everyone, this is Going for the Gold and I'm totally serious about that. Yep, I've got the skills to win games and climb through these divisions. I may only have 16 wins to 19 losses right now. But just you wait.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Going for the Gold Part XLIII: Promoted, Then Almost Demoted

Three seasons in a row, I sought Gold, but remained stuck in Bronze. Am I delusional? Let's see what happens this time around. I got a late start to this season and I've been thrown into Bronze again by placement matches. This is the story of my attempt to turn reverse the trends of previous seasons. This is Going for the Gold.

Mid: Ahri
Top: Swain (me)
Jungle: Vi
Marksman: Varus
Support: Morgana (Al0ysiusHWWW)
vs.
Mid: Lux
Top: Wukong
Jungle: Lee Sin
Marksman: Twitch
Support: Lulu
In my lane, Lee Sin tried to camp me. But I surived and dominated my lane. Nick and his ADC also came out ahead, and our Vi picked up a lot of kills. They held out for a while, but we were way ahead and were able to get into their base and win eventually. I went 14/4/12.

Mid: Brand (Al0ysiusHWWW)
Top: Singed (me)
Jungle: Vi
Marksman: Graves
Support: Braum
vs.
Mid: Diana
Top: Vladimir
Jungle: Jarvan IV
Marksman: Twitch
Support: Morgana
I think my teammates might have surrendered this one, but I forget. Nick was there to help, but he lost lane anyway. I killed Vladimir and was winning my lane, but he got help from Jarvan IV and then other members of the team too. I started killing champions and getting strong enough to tank most damage, but then Diana ulted onto me and destroyed me. I looked at the scoreboard and saw that she was stacking a Mejai's Soulstealer. My allies had simply fed too much. On top of that, I had most of our kills. I did make a few embarrassing mistakes in this one, but for the most part I think I played well and just couldn't overcome the massive difference between the two teams. In the end, I went 4/5/1, while our whole team only picked up a total of 9 kills against the enemy's 36.

Mid: Karma
Top: Diana
Jungle: Udyr (me)
Marksman: Sivir
Support: Leona (Al0ysiusHWWW)
vs.
Mid: Galio
Top: Jax
Jungle: Riven
Marksman: Miss Fortune
Support: Morgana
Another very one-sided match. Top and bot were frozen at first, so I killed opponents there a few times, then went back to farming for the rest of the match while my teammates snowballed. Sivir had 28 kills by the end. They actually managed to drive my team out of their base in a last stand, but then I ran in with baron-boosted minions and took down the nexus. In the end, I went 10/1/6. This was incredibly dominant. After I gave them some initial help, my team only needed me for dragon and baron control and could probably have won without me. Meanwhile, I was probably close to being able to solo the enemy team. It was that one-sided.

Mid: Malzahar (me)
Top: Rengar
Jungle: Xin Zhao (Al0ysiusHWWW)
Marksman: Ashe
Support: Morgana
vs.
Mid: Fizz
Top: Jax
Jungle: Hecarim
Marksman: Miss Fortune
Support: Sona
I got to carry a game as Malzahar! It might have been even better than if I'd played Karthus, since I was able to apply early pressure to Fizz and kill the fed Jax with my ult. It took a bit of time to catch up to Jax, but the rest of his team were easy to pick off. In the end, I went 19/9/12. Another really dominant match.

Mid: Karthus (me)
Top: Riven
Jungle: Wukong
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Leona (Al0ysiusHWWW)
vs.
Mid: Morgana
Top: Nasus
Jungle: Master Yi
Support: Blitzcrank
How does someone completely fail to play against their own main champion? Our Riven made a big deal about calling Nasus top in two lobbies, but then the other team got Nasus first. I figured that top should be fine, although Riven was an odd counterpick choice. Instead Nasus easily killed Riven and farmed like crazy. Our bot lane went better, but ultimately Jinx was rather unskilled. Didn't matter. I carried them. Wukong helped me get ahead so I could completely control my lane, then Nick provided initiations so that I could stomp on the other team. In the end, I went 14/2/10.

Mid: Morgana
Top: Darius
Jungle: Vi
Marksman: Kayle (me)
Support: Leona (Al0ysiusHWWW)
vs.
Mid: Akali
Top: Irelia
Jungle: Sejuani
Marksman: Graves
Support: Thresh
The Graves/Thresh bot lane combo is very dangerous. Nick and I didn't coordinate with each other very well and we made ourselves vulnerable, falling behind. Sejuani charged in and helped secure the laning phase for them, but our Darius was way ahead and Morgana was ahead too, so I thought we might get carried. My teammates messed up and got taken out by Graves one-by-one after he killed me when I was asking for help against him (they were focused on dragon), giving him a quadra kill and helping him snowball. And then on-hit Kayle struck again. I'm so glad I've gotten to keep this build for as long as I have. Full on-hit builds aren't very popular, but mine have been working, especially my Kayle. In the end, I went 9/5/10. Not my best Kayle game, but it wasn't too shabby.

Mid: Karthus (me)
Top: Zac
Jungle: Tryndamere
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Braum (IMLRG)
vs.
Mid: Heimerdinger
Top: Cho'Gath
Jungle: Wukong
Marksman: Sivir
Support: Leona
I've never seen such a passive Heimerdinger. While he was an easy lane opponent, our bot lane completely collapsed, as our Jinx was outclassed. The enemy team roamed and killed me under my turret a few times. Tryndamere got fed, which kept us going until my massive CS let me get fed too. Zac also started getting fed, and while we were still behind on total kills as a team, the combination of a fed Karthus, Tryndamere, and Zac was enough to win us teamfights and take the match. In the end, I went 10/5/7.

Mid: Yasuo
Top: Cho'Gath (IMLRG)
Jungle: Tryndamere
Marksman: Tristana (me)
Feed: Lux
vs.
Mid: Malzahar
Top: Galio
Jungle: Vi
Marksman: Lucian
Support: Viktor
I say "feed" for Lux, but I was actually the one to give up the most kills overall. Lux did start feeding from early on, but the real problem was that Lux made no attempt whatsoever to support me or do anything useful. She did pick up a couple of kill and assists over time, but she may as well have been a bot. Actually, I think she might have been except a bot should have done better. I'm not exaggerating: our Lux was useless, even going so far as to shoot ults off the map instead of at enemies. I tried to overcome that disadvantage, but our whole team was behind. I picked up several kills, but my allies weren't getting kills and we were all dying too much. In the end, I went 6/11/2. I swore off going as marksman with random players. Having a bad jungler can make mid or top dangerous, but having a bad support makes bot absolutely miserable.

Mid: Ziggs
Top: Cho'Gath (IMLRG)
Jungle: Skarner (me)
Marksman: Varus
Support: Leona
vs.
Mid: Zed
Top: Kayle
Jungle: Irelia
Marksman: Sivir
Support: Sona
This wasn't a total shutout, but we were able to get ahead and stay ahead. I successfully ganked top and bot multiple times, and our team won both, which left us with three fed champions. They put up a fight, but we overpowered them. In the end, I went 11/7/7.

Mid: LeBlanc
Top: Cho'Gath
Jungle: Udyr (me)
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Braum (IMLRG)
vs.
Mid: Galio
Top: Garen
Jungle: Nautilus
Marksman: Kalista
Support: Nami
I tried to help my team, but they fell way behind before I could get going. In the end, I went 1/6/7. This one sucked.

Mid: Fizz (IMLRG)
Top: Aatrox
Jungle: Shen (me)
Marksman: Caitlyn
Support: Zilean
vs.
Mid: Zed
Top: Nidalee
Jungle: Pantheon
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Janna
This was a repeat of the previous game, only I was playing Shen for some reason. I went 1/6/5. Tried to help, but the lanes fed aggressively before I could get going. Scott eventually picked up some ult kills, but it was too late.

Mid: Teemo
Top: Nasus
Jungle: Amumu
Marksman: Kayle (me)
Support: Braum (IMLRG)
vs.
Mid: Annie
Top: Gangplank
Jungle: Lee Sin
Marksman: Lucian
Support: Alistar
I told Scott that I was sick of losing like that, and that I was going to force mid because I carry matches when I pick mid. He talked me into going Kayle/Braum duo bot with him. It was rough at first, then got rougher when Lee Sin ganked us and got a double kill. I thought that Lee Sin would snowball, but we killed him twice (I killed him once and someone else killed him) and he ragequit soon after. We were already winning by then. I was getting fed and Nasus was getting even more fed. But having a 5 vs. 4 made it even more one-sided. In the end, I went 9/2/10.

Mid: Malzahar
Top: Nasus
Jungle: Udyr (me)
Marksman: Vayne
Support: Leona (Al0ysiusHWWW)
vs.
Mid: Katarina
Top: Jayce
Jungle: Fizz
Marksman: Caitlyn
Support: Volibear
My team had to be pretty screwed up to let Fizz outjungle me as Udyr, but screwed up was exactly what they were. Vayne and Nasus fed the most, which of course left Nick dying a lot too. Malzahar fed a little less, but still more than me. So he decided that our defeat must be my fault. Yeah, the guy raged pretty hard, then called me "butthurt" when I responded. Trolls gonna troll, I suppose. In the end, I went 4/7/3, which sucks, but is better than the rest of my team could do. Recently, it seems like all of my games as jungler involve my allies in the lanes collapsing and losing their lanes while I'm still on my first clear. I'm in danger of being demoted (I forget when I was promoted to Bronze III, but I totally was) because of this crap.

Mid: Orianna
Top: Singed (me)
Jungle: Xin Zhao (Al0ysiusHWWW)
Marksman: Ezreal
Support: Leona
vs.
Mid: Katarina
Top: Maokai
Jungle: Vi
Marksman: Varus
Support: Teemo
Not sure how the Teemo support was supposed to work. I was too busy having Vi fly at me all the damn time. I couldn't keep from feeding with all the pressure she put on me in the laning phase, but I was able to farm like crazy and weaken Maokai's outer turret. While I was doing that, Katarina got incredibly fed. I tried to tank for my teammates, and while none of them were egregiously bad, they just kept getting caught when they shouldn't have. In the end, I went 4/8/10. Another loss, which puts me in even more danger of demotion. What a fantastic start my season is off to. Oh yes, Gold is looking as impossible as ever.

Mid: Karthus (me)
Top: Gnar
Jungle: Rammus
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Thresh
vs.
Mid: Yasuo
Top: Fiora
Jungle: Sion
Marksman: Sivir
Support: Braum
I won my lane. The other lanes lost badly. From there, we tried to mount a comeback. It looked like we might pull it off, but we just didn't have enough competent people. Rammus was good, and Gnar fed early but started getting stronger. Jinx and Thresh just weren't doing enough. I was able to deal with the fed Fiora and the fed Sivir on multiple occasions, but it wasn't enough. In the end, I went 16/5/17. I tried, but I failed. Next loss from here should demote me. And as usual, I think that it just isn't right. I'm getting unwinnable match after unwinnable match.

Mid: Karthus (me)
Top: Teemo
Jungle: Warwick
Marksman: Vayne
Support: Sona
vs.
Mid: Ezreal (AP build)
Top: Pantheon
Jungle: Vi
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Morgana
I messed up rather badly in the laning phase of this one. I held off on teleporting as I took a beating from Ezreal's skillshots. I decided to back off and teleport, but wanted to flash as I saw him ulting. Then Pantheon tried to ult in too. Even though Pantheon's ult was too far back to possibly hit me, I panicked over it and flashed right into Ezreal's ult, giving him a kill. Couldn't believe it. Fortunately, I already had a kill from my own ult, and was able to get Warwick to gank Ezreal and take his outer turret. From there, I got fed and walked all over the whole enemy team. Our Vayne, who had farmed much better than me early on and had dominated lane, got fed too, dooming the other team even more. They tried to play defensively, which just let us pick them apart at our leisure. In the end, I went 10/3/9. Guess I won't be demoted yet! I'm at 20 LP in Bronze III.


Sunday, March 8, 2015

Going for the Gold Part XLII: Late Start

Three seasons in a row, I sought Gold, but remained stuck in Bronze. Am I delusional? Let's see what happens this time around. I got a late start to this season and I've been thrown into Bronze again by placement matches. This is the story of my attempt to turn reverse the trends of previous seasons. This is Going for the Gold.

I've been busy and I'm getting a late start on the new season, but I am getting a start, and that's what really matters. Will placement matches screw me over again? Probably. We'll see...

Placement match the first
Mid: Karthus (me)
Top: Jayce
Jungle: Nocturne
Marksman: Ezreal
Support: Janna
vs.
Mid: Malzahar
Top: Darius
Jungle: Fizz
Marksman: Corki
Support: Thresh
I've hardly touched Karthus since last season ended, and it was good to get back to him. Malzahar is a pretty easy lane opponent, as he has to really commit to trade with me, and I can recover and hold the lane almost indefinitely, only getting in range of his E right after he uses it on a minion, and being careful to avoid letting it spread from minions to me. Nocturne got a successful gank that put me ahead by a kill, and I snowballed. The enemy top and bot lanes snowballed too, only faster. My allies briefly speculated that I might actually be able to carry them, but our team was way, way behind. In the end, I went 8/1/2. Blah, blah, blah, this always happens to me. Cry, cry, cry. Boo hoo.

Placement match the second
Mid: Fizz
Top: Nasus
Jungle: Udyr (me)
Marksman: Ashe
Support: Sona
vs.
Mid: Miss Fortune (went AP)
Top: Vladimir
Jungle: Volibear
Marksman: Graves
Support: Annie
My team needed a jungler and I gave them one. Top and bot were both losing badly from the start, but I helped keep them from falling too far behind. I snowballed and became a huge threat. At one point, I was 7/0. I noticed that Fizz and I were the only ones who were succeeding, and that worried me. My concern turned out to be well-founded: we kept losing every teamfight. My allies didn't seem to comprehend how to cooperate, so making an effort to do so was beyond them. I tried to flank for them and they'd run away and whine at me for "going in alone." I'd try to initiate and they'd run away and whine at me for "going in alone." I'd hang back to let them initiate, and they'd keep saying "we need to group." When I tried to explain politely, they accused me of "throwing a fit." Meanwhile, even though Fizz and I kept killing the other team, they persevered and used teamwork to beat us. They won and deserved us. In the end, I went 11/9/11. Placement matches are turning out to be thoroughly unwinnable. Bronze V, here I come?

Placement match the third
Mid: Annie
Top: Singed (me)
Jungle: Amumu
Marksman: Corki
Support: Janna
vs.
Mid: Ahri
Top: Zac
Jungle: Rengar
Marksman: Varus
Support: Blitzcrank
Our Janna was disconnected at first, but eventually came back. Bot struggled but didn't fall too far behind. I bullied Zac, but couldn't recklessly push with Rengar and Ahri both coming in to gank me. Being Singed, I was able to farm and become tanky, so I disrupted their team with Amumu as Annie started nuking everything. They put up a fight and won at dragon twice, but we gradually gained more and more ground. In the end, I went 13/6/9. But most importantly, I finally won.

Placement match the fourth
Mid: Malzahar (me)
Top: Jarvan IV
Jungle: Shaco
Marksman: Draven
Support: Thresh
vs.
Mid: Brand
Top: Kayle
Jungle: Vi
Marksman: Tristana
Support: Braum
Our Thresh immediately freaked out or pretended to freak out over being shoved into a support role, whining about being horrible at it, but in weird ways. It was like, "I can't land hooks." So don't pick a champion with hooks. And then the person picked Thresh. Jarvan and Draven kept trying to encourage Thresh to just do his best, but I figured that Thresh might be trolling anyway, so I blew it off. My lane opponent didn't know how to deal with Malzahar, so I was able to control mid easily and avoid a couple of gank attempts. I died because I got greedy and chased Brand down the river for too long with my allies too far behind me, but I went right back and started killing him, then killing others. Shaco snagged a couple of kills that my E already had secured, but I still snowballed, as did Draven. With both of our primary damage-dealers fed, we won decisively, while the other team descended into bickering and reporting. In the end, I went 12/3/8 and easily outfarmed everyone.

Placement match the fifth
Mid: Katarina
Top: Riven
Jungle: Lee Sin
Marksman: Jinx
Troll: Karthus (me)
vs.
Mid: Lux
Top: Cho'Gath
Jungle: Jarvan IV
Marksman: Draven
Support: Nami
I have to own up to it. I made a big mistake here. I was in a lobby as a solo mid, and it was requeued. I wasn't paying attention and I looked at the wrong side of the screen, so I picked Karthus instead of a support. To be fair, I thought something was weird, so I didn't lock in, but instead started looking at the chat. Somehow, I thought Nami was on our side. And I saw someone call support. Then I locked in and my teammates started freaking out. They must have thought I was an idiot, which was fair. They tried to order me to do things like take Exhaust or build that one support item I never build. I tried not to panic and went bot, scheming for ways to make this work. I settled on a plan of harassing the enemy bot lane with my Q to scare them into thinking we had some weird bully lane or kill lane. They backed off, we avoided Jarvan's ganks, and both of us were able to farm a bit. Draven turned out to be somewhat unskilled, and that combined with my Q-spamming scared him into playing passively. Nami focused on hitting Jinx with her Q, which left me free to do whatever I wanted. Then I roamed and ended the laning phase early, which was a huge risk, but again it paid off perfectly. Their Cho'Gath did win lane. With Lux to help him burst people down, they started to mount a comeback, winning some key teamfights. But they just couldn't kill me and I kept getting more powerful, which kept us ahead the whole time. No, really. I had the most kills (tied with enemy Lux, actually), fewest deaths, most assists (tied with enemy Nami) and kept the other team off our turrets even when they burst down my allies. In the end, I went 12/2/16. My teammates must have thought I did it on purpose or something. Where in the beginning they'd been freaking out at me for not picking a support, they concluded by declaring me "MVP." While I hope not to make that mistake again, I'm glad that I was calm and handled it the way I did. I'm also glad that Jinx cooperated with me instead of becoming toxic, which is what would usually happen.

Placement match the sixth
Mid: Malzahar (me)
Top: Cho'Gath (IMLRG)
Jungle: Master Yi
Marksman: Graves
Support: Braum
vs.
Mid: LeBlanc
Top: Jax
Jungle: Vi
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Blitzcrank
LeBlanc played too passively and I controlled my lane while avoiding gank attempts. Scott won his lane initially, but Yi went top and force-fed Jax kills, which allowed Jax to snowball and dominate the whole match. Our bot lane failed miserably too, leaving me hopelessly outclassed against a team that was way ahead of me and coordinated to take objectives. I couldn't get fed because kills that I was about to get were poached, then enemies started surviving and escaping, leaving me perpetually behind. In the end, I went 3/6/7. This match was stupid, but I really think I did what I could. Scott fared better, but the two of us weren't enough to compensate for our heavily feeding allies.

Placement match the seventh
Mid: Karthus (me)
Top: Shen
Jungle: Wukong
Marksman: Vayne
Support: Nami (IMLRG)
vs.
Mid: Ahri
Top: Nidalee
Jungle: Lee Sin
Marksman: Kalista
Support: Braum
My worst Ranked game of the season so far. Scott said that he played badly, but our teammates presented more problems. Shen refused to group up with the team, remaining top all game. Vayne did pick up kills, but fed more than anyone else. And then there was Wukong, who refused to group up, raged, then began spamming in the chat, trying to bully us into surrendering, and intentionally feeding. I worked hard to win my lane against Ahri, then her team got ahead and undid all my work. It was too early for me to become strong from CS alone, and since I couldn't pick up kills, I was overwhelmed by a team that was already fed. In the end, I went 2/3/4. Pretty rare that I have a negative kill/death ratio as Karthus, but in this situation, it couldn't be helped. It was a bad day for us anyway. After losing two Ranked games, we moved onto Normals and lost a couple more. It was brutal.

Placement match the eighth
Mid: Karthus (me)
Top: Darius
Jungle: Amumu
Marksman: Ashe
Support: Sona
vs.
Mid: Yasuo
Top: Elise
Jungle: Hecarim
Marksman: Jinx
Support: Braum
I think our Amumu was a smurf or something, because that was one of the best Amumu jungle's I can remember seeing. In the other lanes, Ashe couldn't get kills, but they held their own, while Darius lost lane. I had a farm fest against Yasuo, but eventually outfarmed him and picked up Requiem kills, then Amumu ganked him and it was all over. I don't think any one person on the opposing team ruined things for them, but none of them could stop me. In the end, I went 25/0/10 and outfarmed everyone by a lot.

Placement match the ninth
Mid: Anivia
Top: Cho'Gath (IMLRG)
Jungle: Master Yi
Marksman: Ashe (me)
Feed: Olaf
vs.
Mid: Xerath
Top: Shen
Jungle: Xin Zhao
Marksman: Tristana
Support: Sona
Worst Ranked match I've ever been in. I was second pick and took Anivia, then our last pick cried about not being able to play a marksman. I tried to be nice and offered to switch. I shouldn't have bothered. The person picked Ashe, then clicked to switch with less than a second remaining. I changed my runes but had no time to fix my masteries or summoner spells. And then I realized that I had an Olaf "support." Olaf ran in and fed, then Tristana picked me off too. Olaf continued to feed, so Scott, trying to salvage things, called for a lane swap. And then Scott ran in with no health and died, so I was alone again and killed yet again. Anivia fed. Yi farmed the jungle without ganking for too long, picked up some kills, and raged that everyone else was feeding. I never managed to get enough items to do any real damage, so I was completely screwed. In the end, I went 1/12/0. I want a damn mulligan or something here. This isn't right.

Placement match the tenth
Mid: Ahri
Top: Jax
Jungle: Warwick (Al0ysiusHWWW)
Marksman: Kog'Maw (me)
Support: Leona
vs.
Mid: Katarina
Top: Sion
Jungle: Xin Zhao
Marksman: Tristana
Support: Nidalee
For my last placement match, I paired up with Nick, who was working on his own placement matches. He lied and said he'd support me, as he thought that was funny and for some reason he wanted me to be a marksman. So I was stuck with a horrible Leona who fed and raged. Ahri also fed, and two feeders was enough to easily ruin it for the rest of us. In the end, I went 5/6/3. Welcome to Ashe's Elite, Bronze IV. Crap. Well, it's not as bad of a start as last season...