AP Kog in ARAM

Fuck your Spirit Visage. I have Liandry's.
Fuck your Banshee's Veil. I have a Void Staff.
Fuck your Mercury's Treads. I have Sorcerer's Shoes.
If you really want to buy, my spells will make you die.

Going for the Gold Part XXIX: The Mad Chemist is Back

After playing League of Legends for over two years and accumulating over a thousand normal games, I finally entered ranked play. In my own, totally objective, assessment, I am skilled enough for Gold. My placement matches disagreed, and threw me into Bronze II. More recently after failing to climb out of Bronze I, the ladder was reset and I found myself placed lower still, all the down way at the bottom of Bronze V. The Ranked matches I've played so far have clearly marked me as a Bronze player. This is the story of my attempt to prove them wrong. This is Going for the Gold.

Well, now I know I'll never ragequit. If I didn't do it this time, nothing is going to make it happen. This match was so bad it was surreal. The matchup was Karthus (me), Aatrox (top), Amumu (jungle), Ezreal (ADC), and Blitzcrank (support) vs. Fizz (mid), Kayle (top), Shyvana (jungle), Ashe (ADC), and Sona (support). People often pick Fizz against my Karthus because they think Fizz beats Karthus, but I've always managed to hold my own, not feed, farm up, and come out ahead. This wasn't so much an exception as it was a deception. All of my teammates, all four of them, seemed to be actively trying to screw me over. It didn't make any sense, and of course I didn't believe that was what they were doing, but it was what I kept seeing. Aatrox disconnected multiple times and eventually ran where I was farming and poached CS from me. Blitzcrank stole my last hits repeatedly and would go in with me, then ditch me suddenly and speed boost away while I got ganked. Ezreal initially seemed to be the least egregious, but used Arcane Shift and Mystic Shot to steal the last hit on a blue buff I was taking, and then immediately (no joke, it was a matter of a few seconds) rushed into the enemy team and died. And then there was Amumu, who would hang out by my lane or even in it, but would just stand around doing nothing (or take off) and let Fizz and Shyvana kill me. I fell behind rapidly and my allies fiercely sabotaged every attempt I made to come back. Reading this, it seems like I must be exaggerating, but I'm actually not. Like I said, it was surreal. I went 3/10/9. I'm not really even discouraged by this one because it was unlike any other game I'd played and I don't expect it to happen again any time soon, if ever. So I'm going to try one more for the night. I'm down to 48 LP. Maybe I can make it up with the next one.

Well, it wasn't as bad as the previous game, but it was pretty bad. We had a first pick Nidalee mid. I should probably have just dodged, since I've never really seen Nidalee mid work. But apparently I never dodge in Ranked. We also had Volibear top and Udyr jungle. Someone picked Nautilus support, so I was left to ADC, something I always manage to lose games doing these days. I picked Kog'Maw for some reason. The other team had Malzahar (mid), Jarvan IV (top), Xin Zhao (jungle), Jinx (ADC), and Janna (support). We had trouble in the lanes, especially after Xin Zhao killed me twice with tower dives, but Udyr refused to help, calling us stupid for not knowing how Udyr works. That set Nidalee off, and our Nidalee player spammed the chat the rest of the game whining about how bad everyone else was. Udyr griefed, making sure we'd lose teamfights, and eventually congratulated the other team on making sure that Nidalee lost. While Volibear and Nautilus were obviously at least trying to win, they didn't attempt to protect me, so I was picked off all the time. I went 6/12/4. I'm now down to 31 LP. Brutal. We were probably going to lose anyway with the griefer, but I would have appreciated having some help. My teammates pretty much just ignored my existence.

I played seven duo queue matches with Scott (IMLRG). In the first, we had a someone first-pick Poppy for solo top, and another person picked jungle Gragas while Scott took Braum as a support. I was going to mid, but the last person locked in Nasus, so we switched to Poppy mid, Nasus top, and had me take Tristana. Our opponents had Diana (mid), Dr. Mundo (top). Xin Zhao (jungle), Caitlyn (ADC), and Leona (support). We tried to hold bot lane, but didn't have a jungler to back us up, while the other team did. Gragas tried, but couldn't do enough. Poppy was ridiculously aggressive and fed, but also picked up kills while doing so. Nasus was the biggest problem. He had 12 bonus damage on his Siphoning Strike. That means he killed four things with it in the course of the match. He was dead weight and gave the enemy team a gold boost. This was a case in which 4 vs. 5 would actually have been better for us. We were perplexed at how someone would be playing Nasus in Ranked games without actually bothering to use his abilities. I went 7/5/0 in the end. Scott and I both reported Nasus as unskilled. Then I checked out the player's information on "LOLKING." It turned out that our Nasus player had 9 wins, 25 losses in Ranked this season, and was in Silver V. Oh. Riot, please?

Then we had Karthus (mid), Mordekaiser (me), Volibear (jungle), Ashe (ADC), and Braum (Scott) vs. Sion (mid), Xin Zhao (top), Fiora (jungle), Graves (ADC), and Sona (support). This was my worst Mordekaiser game ever. I couldn't do any damage to Xin Zhao for some reason. It was like he was the one with the shield, instead of me. He picked up two early kills on me, but I got him back on the second one with my turret. He was still bullying me, when Volibear showed up and got destroyed instantly when he came to gank, leaving me exposed when I advanced to help him, so I died again. From there, Xin Zhao had complete control of the lane. Meanwhile, AP Sion and Fiora murdered the rest of my team. We tried to mount a comeback and started to catch up, but our team didn't coordinate well enough for it, and we were aced and defeated. I went 6/14/18. This match was total bullshit, but whatever. Moving on.

Not wanting to go out on such a depressing finish, we tried again. This one got screwed up. We had AP Tristana as a mid against Kassadin, which I was very apprehensive of. We also had a Rammus jungler to their Diana jungler, which I felt better about. Scott took Braum as a support and I was going to go on-hit Kayle to carry alongside him, as we already had Tristana on our team anyway for long range attacks. Our last pick failed to see that I was going bot, and picked Varus. He was nice about it once he saw his mistake, and I was going to let him have it, but Scott looked up the match and saw that the enemy Sion had AD runes and masteries. Kayle has no problem with AP Sion, but can't stop AD Sion all that well. So I asked Varus if he'd solo top anyway, which he did. That left Scott and I to face Jinx and Lulu in bot lane. It didn't hit us at first, but this match was very one-sided. Varus had no trouble with Sion, so he got farmed and fed. Tristana didn't feed Kassadin, and Rammus destroyed Kassadin and Sion, getting both lanes even further behind. Bot was where the only real challenge was, as Jinx maneuvered skillfully, poking us and keeping up with my CS. Eventually, we caught her when she got too isolated without Lulu's shield on her. I hit her with Reckoning, then used Flash and Ignite to pick up the kill. The lane remained challenging for a while, but we pulled ahead, then dominated the other team. I was 8/3/5 by the end.

Next, I tried some Singed games. In the first of those, it was Veigar (mid), Singed (me), Rengar (jungle), Caitlyn (ADC), and Sona (Scott) vs. Lux (mid), Talon (top), Jax (jungle), Varus (ADC), and Leona (support). Rengar couldn't shut the hell up and Caitlyn was intermittently spamming pings, but we were initially ahead. Veigar disconnected and I had to work hard to keep us from falling behind. Eventually, Veigar came back (level 6 when I was level 14, I think). That gave us the edge we needed to win teamfights and, subsequently, the match. I went 4/3/14.

We had someone that wanted Master Yi in the lobby, so Scott first-picked Yi for a trade. But Scott wanted to support and the other person turned out not to own any, so Scott was stuck with Annie as a support. I had already picked Singed again by this point, and we got a Ziggs mid, so the last pick, protesting at not being the worst in the world at ADC, took Ashe. Our opponents had Fizz (mid), Heimerdinger (top), Xin Zhao (jungle), Corki (ADC), and Morgana (support). True to her word, Ashe fed and couldn't accomplish anything, which left Scott underpowered too. Fizz also got fed. Yi was initially picking up kills, but started getting picked off too. Fortunately, I had enough time to get my Singed going. I was, in the words of our Yi, "LCS proin." I used Fling to feed my team, then my Poison Trail's devastated the enemy team and I picked up some kills for myself too. Scott asked me to carry him, so I did. I went 10/2/14. Singed is back and he's here to stay.

Figuring I was on a roll with Singed, I picked him again. We already had a Ryze mid anyway. We got Tryndamere as our jungler. Scott picked Braum to support again and our ADC was Lucian. We were up against the intimidating team composition of Fizz (mid), Shyvana (top), Volibear (jungle), Varus (ADC), and Thresh (support). I've never done well against Shyvana with Singed, and Volibear is problematic for him too. But the real problem in this match was that Tryndamere disconnected. He was the one picking up our kills, and we lost him. Our whole team fell behind. Eventually he came back, but the damage had been done. Even though our team was way behind on kills and on objectives, it turned out that Scott and I could tank the other team surprisingly well. For a while, I thought we'd win that way. But our teammates just never brought the damage (except Ryze, who usually did) to fights. Impressive as it was to see how long it took the five enemy champions to kill our Braum and Singed, taking a long time to die wasn't going to save us by itself. Frustrating, but I understand that it happens. I went 4/9/9 in my first Ranked loss as Singed.

Finally, Scott talked me into one more try. This time, I had him ban Kassadin so I could pick Karthus. My teammates had Teemo (top), Trundle (jungle), Sivir (ADC), and Braum (Scott). The other team had Heimerdinger (mid), Garen (top), Xin Zhao (jungle), Ashe (ADC), and Leona (support). I complained that I can't catch a break anymore as Karthus. This one had a few problems, but the main one was feeding teammates. That make me sound arrogant, but it did happen. Heimerdinger pushed aggressively and I held him off, which Karthus can do, but he got help and I did not, so he pulled way ahead on CS and took my outer and inner turrets. We killed each other a lot, and he picked me off sometimes, but I killed him more. He made up the deficit by slaughtering my teammates. Scott thought the enemy Heimerdinger was just good. My impression was more that people shouldn't run into his turrets like chickens with their damn heads cut off. So Heimerdinger got fed. But another problem was that Teemo was incredibly toxic. I was the primary target of his ire, but he also went after Sivir, although sometimes it seemed like he had the two of us mixed up, which was bizarre. He only went after Scott when Scott pointed out that he was saying things that were factually incorrect. Teemo stopped trying to help and started only caring about picking up kills for himself, which helped put us behind. But I was pretty well farmed and would still have wrecked the other team if not for Garen. He harassed me, revenge-killed me when I took out Heimerdinger, and was a constant threat. I was mad about Teemo and annoyed about my teammates feeding in general, but I have to admit that I was impressed with the enemy Garen. In the end of this one, I went 14/11/12. I'm now down to 29 LP.

Going for the Gold Part XXVIII: Reaching for Bronze I to Close Out Spring

After playing League of Legends for over two years and accumulating over a thousand normal games, I finally entered ranked play. In my own, totally objective, assessment, I am skilled enough for Gold. My placement matches disagreed, and threw me into Bronze II. More recently after failing to climb out of Bronze I, the ladder was reset and I found myself placed lower still, all the down way at the bottom of Bronze V. The Ranked matches I've played so far have clearly marked me as a Bronze player. This is the story of my attempt to prove them wrong. This is Going for the Gold.

There's apparently a rune sale running through the end of the month, so I've been trying to figure out what runes I should buy. I've been pretty happy with my current runes, but I have a lot of IP left over and I might as well get runes now, while they're cheaper. So I was browsing the store and a player on my friend list that I didn't remember at all, and who apparently didn't know who I was either, decided to invite me to duo Ranked. He was Darksaber240 and he'd just gotten into Bronze I himself. We got into a lobby and, finding myself second pick and with none of my usual options looking good, I played a champion that I've never played in Ranked, but that I knew I could solo top with. We ended up with the rather unusual team composition of Soraka (mid), Nasus (me), Udyr (jungle), Caitlyn (DarkSaber240), and Morgana (support). Our opponents had Kennen (mid), Teemo (top), Kayle (jungle), Tristana (ADC), and Thresh (support). As I've mentioned, a lot of people are under the impression that Teemo top counters Nasus, but that's heavily dependent on how the laning phases go and on junglers. Yeah, Teemo can kite Nasus, poison him, blind him so that he misses his Siphoning Strike stacks, and be a nuisance. But as a ranged AP top, Teemo lacks burst, and Nasus can hold the lane by lifestealing from minions, waiting things out until Nasus has enough magic resistance to actually fight Teemo. That was what I tried to do in this game, and to an extent, it worked. My biggest concern was Kayle. A good Kayle can murder Nasus. Kayle was as problematic as I feared. On top of that, our Udyr charged in on Teemo early on and gave him double buff, which gave him a substantial lead on me and let him kill me after I stupidly forgot how much damage red buff would do to me. Udyr gave up several early deaths and I was behind for a long time, with my teammates asking me to help as our opponents started grouping up and pushing. But I kept grinding, and even though things looked bad initially, circumstances changed in our favor. Despite being behind, I managed to kill Teemo by myself. My inexorable pushing top lane drew attention from the other team, but they overextended when they tried to close in on me after sieging mid, and we won some close teamfights. I got caught up on stacking Siphoning Strike and also got items to tank the enemy team. Meanwhile, Udyr, who had been frustrating the rest of us early on, got fed and made an impressive comeback. No, really, I was impressed. I thought our Udyr was a feeder and that we were unfortunate, but he turned things around and ended up being the star of the show. As for me, I went 7/5/5 and had the typical late game Nasus domination that I'd been trying to build up to. We won, and my first win in my second foray into Bronze II has taken me up to 23 LP.

After nearly a month, I got back to Ranked play, in part just to prevent LP decay. Our bans were all over the place. We had a first pick Xin Zhao jungler and third pick wanted mid, so I took Mordekaiser top and let the other player, who picked Syndra, take mid. Our bot laners were Varus and Nami, who invited me to that Curse Voice thing, so I was in chat with them, which didn't really help, but I guess it was worth a shot. Our opponents had Annie (mid), Kha'Zix (top), Wukong (jungle), Miss Fortune (ADC), and Braum (support). I got the first two kills by dominating lane against Kha'Zix, but Wukong ganked me aggressively and eventually I fell behind, as did the rest of our team. Xin Zhao never helped any of us. Not once. So it was basically 4 vs. 5. My final K/D/A was 5/9/4. That brings me down to 7 LP.


Queuing up for another one. I'm already apprehensive. Our bans make no sense again and these guys are arguing in a way that makes them all look stupid. Yeah, I'm already frustrated with my teammates and we haven't even started yet. Anyway, we've got Lee Sin (mid), Trundle (top), Master Yi (jungle), Tristana (me), and Nami (support) against Talon (mid), Renekton (top), Kayle (jungle), Jinx (ADC), and Taric (support). It turned out to be even worse than I feared. Lee Sin was a feeder, so that meant Talon was able to snowball and burst me down whenever he could catch me, which turned out to be three times. Master Yi ran around in the jungle doing very little, but liked to rage at me for playing too passively. Nami also raged at me for playing passively, while simultaneously failing to ever set anything up. Trundle was fine, but was camped by the enemy Kayle. I went 4/3/1 and didn't even get close to the firepower I'd have needed to salvage this disaster. There go my LP again.

For my next match, I first-picked Karthus. My allies had Darius (top), Amumu (mid), Jinx (ADC), and Karma (support). We were up against Lissandra (mid), Yorick (top), Kha'Zix (jungle), Tristana (ADC), and Morgana (support). Other than Amumu, my allies were rather bad. But mainly, Jinx and Karma constantly fed Tristana. I had no chance to get going and carry. When I finally did get an opening in a teamfight and ace our opponents, Jinx and Karma rushed to Baron Nashor and died, then raged at the rest of us. They were very, very bad. I ended up going 6/5/8, which is pretty terrible for me as Karthus, but not so terrible when the match falls apart so quickly.

Then I go last pick, but still took Karthus. My allies had Yorick (top), Vi (jungle), Lucian (ADC), and Zyra (support). Our opponents consisted of Yasuo (mid), Darius (top), Teemo (jungle), Jinx (ADC), and Morgana (support). I easily outfarmed Yasuo, but all five of my teammates were terrible players. On top of that, I eventually discovered that my passive was bugged! Yeah, when I died, my passive failed to go off. I'd still get seven seconds of Defile if I had it toggled on before I died, but I could not cast spells, so I was forced to watch low-health enemies run around right by me without being able to finish them. That made me pretty mad, but I'd still have done well if not for my feeding, bickering, raging, clueless, uncooperative teammates. Ultimately, I went 8/4/9. With this bullshit, I'm in danger of being demoted. Again.

I tried another match. This time we had Gragas (mid), Jax (top), Xin Zhao (jungle), Kog'Maw (me), and Nidalee (support) against Kennen (mid), Darius (top), Warwick (jungle), Twitch (ADC), and Morgana (support). My lane opponents weren't very good, so I was able to farm pretty effectively. Eventually, the enemy team positioned themselves badly against me in a couple of skirmishes and I got fed. It wasn't over with that, though, as the enemy top and jungle had become very powerful. Warwick's ult was able to shut me down a few times, and I had a hard time convincing my teammates to group up. But eventually, we pushed as a team and won. I went 13/6/8. That match has taken me up to 20 LP. No demotion just yet.

I queued with Scott (IMLRG) for two Ranked games. In the first, we had Malzahar (me), Renekton (top), Elise (jungle), Lucian (ADC), and Sona (Scott) against Vel'Koz (mid), Wukong (top), Warwick (jungle), Vayne (ADC), and Nami (support). Elise tried to go commando, avoiding our team and going trying to fight multiple enemies alone, which went poorly. Renekton was like that too, only twice as bad. This gave our opponents an edge. They had Vel'Koz, Nami, and Wukong cover a wide area with damaging spells so that Warwick could initiate on any fool who wandered into the firing znoe and Vayne could pick off stragglers. I tried to herd my team out of these deathtraps, but they weren't having it. With Karthus, I might have been able to follow them in and dish out damage on everyone, but Malzahar needs to target one person at a time, and I couldn't make it work. I went 7/4/2, but we lost badly and I dropped to 3 LP.

When we tried again, it was with Cassiopeia (mid), Singed (top), Udyr (me), Quinn (ADC), and Braum (Scott). Our opponents had Tristana (mid), Pantheon (top), Rammus (jungle), Lucian (ADC), and Thresh (support). I had my red buff stolen, which slowed me down, and couldn't find any good early gank attempts, so I worked on building up stacks for Wriggle's Lantern and Tear of the Goddess. Progress was slow for me. Our Cassiopeia was very bad and I spent a lot of time trying to keep mid from collapsing. Singed turned out not to know how to fight Pantheon (or perhaps just how to play Singed in the first place). So we started to fall behind, but our bot lane came through, then bot laners roamed and dominated the map. The enemy team did adjust to fight the roaming duo, but that bought me the time I needed to get my items. Feral Flare really changes things for my Udyr build, but it takes time. I ultimately went 5/1/8, but it was the bot laners that did most of the work. I think Scott got 24 assists in this one. He and Quinn were responsible for the comeback. So now I'm back to 23 LP, which, as I can see from the top of this post, is where I'd been at the end of last month. My MMR may have dropped a bit, but I'm back to 23 LP.

I was fourth pick, and I was pretty apprehensive with the other picks. But I didn't have much choice in the matter, so it was Mordekaiser (mid), Tryndamere (top), Kha'Zix (jungle), Lucian (ADC), and Sona (me) vs. Diana (mid), Garen (top), Master Yi (jungle), Vayne (ADC), and Xin Zhao (support). This became an epic 63-minute match. Some of my teammates kept assuming that we'd lost, but we held on and counterpushed, keeping our nexus turrets safe the whole time. Kills were tied up or close to it and all of the inhibitors except in the ones in the bot lane went down multiple times. Fortunately, our Tryndamere was pretty good. And of course, our team had an awesome Sona to back them up in teamfights. I used to build Sona less tanky, and I'd hide back and spam spells. In this match, I was wading into the other team, nuking squishies with my passive, blocking damage with shield items, and stunning the other team with my ult. It was pretty intense. With Yi being Yi, even I thought we were in trouble. I kept worrying that he'd backdoor our nexus, but we were able to keep defending it. After over an hour, the other team got out of position and we took advantage of that. I flashed to snipe the super-tanky Garen before he could escape, which left Vayne alone to face most of our team. We stormed their nexus and finally finished it. In the end, I went 9/6/41. That victory took me up 21 LP, to a new total of 44 LP. I'm also tied on my win/loss ratio now: 37 wins, 37 losses.

Finally, I did a solo queue match and got first pick, so I had my Karthus. We also had a Lee Sin jungler, a Vladimir top, and a Jinx ADC with Xin Zhao supporting. Our opponents had Ziggs (mid), Shyvana (top), Rengar (jungle), Ezreal (ADC), and Morgana (support). My lane opponent played somewhat passively. I easily outfarmed Ziggs and picked up some kills with my ult to get ahead. Our Vladimir fed hard, but our bot lane came out ahead too. Because Shyvana was fed, she was able to keep the match close for a while, but my damage output let Jinx easily snowball and pick everyone off, and when she couldn't kill our enemies, I did, leading to an early and decisive victory. I went 5/0/9. Up to 64 LP now. I'm not back to Bronze I yet, but I think I'm getting there. I took April and most of May off. It's not June 1st. If I get some more Ranked matches in, I can potentially reach Bronze I before Spring is over.

One of my favorite Normal games ever...

I recently played in some pretty good Normal matches on Summoner's Rift. Yesterday, I had one of my favorites. I was quad-queuing with Scott (IMLRG), Justin (Schweizerhof), and Scott's friend Clint (UnboundTitan). Scott took Braum as a support, something he's been having success with lately. Justin decided to try Orianna mid. Clint picked Pantheon as a top. Our random had Vayne for an ADC. I was one of the later picks and we needed a jungler. I didn't feel like playing any of my usual junglers, so I went back to a champion that I hardly ever play: Skarner. My plan from the beginning was to play him similarly to how I've been playing Udyr: focusing on jungle camps heavily and rushing Wriggle's Lantern and Tear of the Goddess in order to stack them. Our opponents consisted of Twisted Fate (mid), Aatrox (top), Shaco (top), Ashe (ADC), and Blitzcrank (support).

I start at blue buff with a leash from Orianna and Pantheon. Our opponents take the unorthodox approach of having Shaco and Aatrox team up to get red buff for Aatrox (easy with boxes) while Vayne and Blitzcrank help Twisted Fate take blue buff. This makes all of the enemy team members late to lane, but they have buffs to compensate for that. I finish my first clear at 3:48 and keep going with my jungling, as there aren't really any gank opportunities anyway. Twisted Fate gets first blood with a flash kill on Orianna in the middle of the lane. At that point, Pantheon is still holding his own soloing against two enemy champions. Bot is largely a stalemate, but Vayne is outfarming Ashe.

I help Pantheon a little by showing up to harass Shaco and clear his boxes. By this point, Vayne has more than twice Ashe's CS. Pantheon is still doing fine and has been able to farm despite the enemy duo top. But mid is still not going well. I keep jungling, but I'm looking to gank Twisted Fate if I can. As I rush down the lane to help mid, Twisted Fate ults and ganks Pantheon. Aatrox finishes Pantheon off in the 3 vs. 1, but Pantheon takes Shaco with him. I go back to my jungle. Vayne and Braum get too aggressive while sieging bot lane, and Ashe picks up a double kill on them. The other team is starting to pull ahead, but we're still not far behind.

Twisted Fate gets another flash kill on Orianna. Vayne is still way ahead on CS, but Ashe gets a second kill on her and Blitzcrank is able to chase Braum down to finish him off. Scott, playing Braum, is a very nice guy and is apologizing to Vayne for the lost fights, but Vayne seems cool about it. I go top to help Pantheon, who is finally falling behind against his opponents, but they back off. I realize Shaco hasn't been in their jungle often enough to stop me from counterjungling, so I go for the enemy double golems. They see me with a ward and Twisted Fate ults at that time anyway, so I am ganked by Aatrox, Shaco, and Twisted Fate. At a little over ten minutes in, the team score is 1 to 8. But our whole team is maintaining a pretty positive attitude, despite the rough start.

Twisted Fate bullies Orianna and kills her again. Justin explains that he still hasn't gotten used to Orianna yet. I keep working on stacking my Wriggle's Lantern, going back to the enemy jungle because I figure I probably won't get caught like that again so soon. Twisted Fate can't always be ulting. Since Twisted Fate is pushing hard after having killed Orianna again, I go mid to stop him. So does Pantheon. We can't gank him, though, and he gets back behind his turret. I go back to taking camps in both halves of the jungle. Pantheon is struggling, but still managing to hold top. Twisted Fate heads down the river toward bot, then ults to gank Vayne, and the three of them attack Braum, with Ashe finishing him off. Orianna gets some breathing room, but it's 1 to 11 in the enemy team's favor now. They're also ahead on gold, of course, but we're somehow still ahead on CS. Individually, Vayne and Twisted Fate are tied for the highest CS. I go up the river to help Pantheon, but don't accomplish anything other than clearing boxes. I go back and take our blue buff then try again. I run into another box in enemy brush, so Aatrox and Shaco go after me, but they're low and can't risk going for the kill because I'd probably kill one of them and Pantheon might finish the other one off anyway, so they retreat, but too late to stop Pantheon from killing Shaco anyway, for our team's second kill of the entire match.

At fifteen minutes in, I build my Tear of the Goddess and Berserker's Greaves, then head back out to finish stacking Wriggle's Lantern. Twisted Fate comes in with a flash lane gank as Ashe arrives bot, followed by an Ashe ult, and Blitzcrank kills Vayne, then Twisted Fate kills Braum. Twisted Fate tries to chase Orianna down for another kill, but he goes into our jungle and I go after him. He thinks that being fed will let him kill me once I start chasing him, so he turns around in the mid lane, but I get the better of him. Pantheon kills Aatrox in his relentless 1 vs. 2 stand top lane, and I finish Twisted Fate with a little help from an Orianna shield, so we pick up our third and fourth kills of the match. At 16 minutes in, the score is 4 to 14.

Blitzcrank and Ashe gank Orianna at mid. Ashe is now 4/0. She and Blitzcrank return to bot and try to bully Vayne, but Braum comes in with an ult, kills, Ashe, and lets Vayne kill Blitzcrank. It finally looks like we might have a comeback in the making. Twisted Fate ults in on bot and gets a double kill against Vayne and Braum. Oh. So he's still a problem. After that, I finally get my Feral Flare. Ashe and Blitzcrank go mid and kill Orianna again. Pantheon is still holding top against two opponents. I counterjungle, but get intercepted in my own jungle and Twisted Fate attempts to chase me down. He can't finish me off and I escape to the mid inner turret, where I hold off his minions while Orianna returns. Twisted Fate and Shaco go in at two different points to counterjungle me. Twisted Fate is successful, but Shaco is caught by Orianna at blue buff and forced to flee. I try to catch him, but it's not even close. Orianna goes top to help Pantheon. Twisted Fate ults. I fall back to the top inner turret and recall. Pantheon and Orianna escape the attempted gank. Ashe tries to assist her team with an ult, but both of my teammates make it out. Orianna stays top and farms some. I get back into the jungle to continue stacking Feral Flare and Tear of the Goddess. Vayne and Braum push bot and Vayne tries to dive Blitzcrank through his passive, but she gets nuked by a gold card by the unseen Twisted Fate, and now he's 9/1, with easily the highest CS around. Pantheon and Orianna chase Shaco off and take the top outer turret. I try to coordinate with Braum for a gank on Twisted Fate in the bot lane, but Twisted Fate blows Braum up as soon as I show up, and I have to run away. At 22 minutes in, the total score is 7 to 22.

Orianna and Vayne go bot to push out minion waves. Blitzcrank charges in for a gank, with Twisted Fate ulting in and Ashe coming in behind them with her own ult. Pantheon, followed closely by me and Braum, has circled around through the river, and comes in to flank the three enemies. I destroy Blitzcrank, then Vayne picks off Ashe. I ult Twisted Fate and kill him too. Then Braum, Vayne, and Orianna push and take the bot outer turret. I return to the jungle and build up some more stacks. You can't spell "comeback" without "come." Orianna even helps me get the dragon.

I go to the enemy blue buff, but Shaco and Blitzcrank are waiting to gank me. Both teams converge on me. I flash out after taking some damage. Braum kills Blitzcrank. Pantheon kills Ashe. But then Twisted Fate kills Orianna. I go back to my own jungle. Pantheon, seeming to have driven the enemies off, takes their blue buff, but they come back around and Twisted Fate kills him. At just over 24 minutes in, the score is 12 to 25. We're actually ahead on gold now, though. Having a jungler is starting to pay off. Everyone respawns, but neither team initiates fights for a bit. I keep clearing jungle camps. Orianna gets caught mid, but is saved by Braum in the skirmish. Twisted Fate activates Zhonya's after eating some CC, but Vayne tumbles in and picks him off. She chases Ashe with silver bolts and goes for the kill, but Blitzcrank grabs her. Ashe isn't safe yet, though: a wild Skarner has made his way over there and is now in pursuit. Pantheon jumps in and kills Blitzcrank. I chase Ashe down, ult her before she can reach the mid inner turret, and kill her. With three enemies down, we push mid aggressively. Aatrox tries to defend, procs his passive, and it's the formerly 0/7 Orianna that gets the last hit. We take the turret too.

I go back to jungling, but Twisted Fate's ult gives the enemy team vision of me at their wraiths, and they chase me down. I almost make it to our mid inner turret, but Shaco keeps me from escaping and Ashe picks up the kill. Orianna, who tried to save me with a shield, is attacked under the turret by Blitzcrank and killed by Ashe. Vayne shoves the bot lane out in the meantime. We regroup mid, and by this point, I have Berserker's Greaves, Trinity Force, Tear of the Goddess, Wit's End, and Feral Flare with 24 stacks. There's a fight mid, but by the time the engagement happens due to Blitzcrank's initiation, I'm in the enemy jungle and too far away to help. Shaco kills Orianna, but Pantheon gets revenge and takes down Shaco. The enemies keep pushing Ashe kills Braum and Blitzcrank kills Vayne. Only Pantheon is escaping this mess. I arrive at our mid inner turret to defend it, but I'm up against four opponents. As they go in on me, Pantheon ults. They take the turret and Blitzcrank picks up the kill on me, but while they're doing so, Pantheon scores a triple kill on Twisted Fate, Ashe, and Blitzcrank. At the 30-minute mark, both sides are regrouping. The team score is 21 to 33. But we're still up by one turret and we're ahead on team gold.

Vayne and Braum duo the dragon. Vayne and Orianna head bot to push. Braum and Pantheon catch Blitzcrank in the river, but Blitzcrank is able to escape. The enemy team catches Braum, but he ults and tries to escape. Pantheon and I pull back from the top of the enemy jungle and make our way mid to help. We separate. Orianna, Braum, and Pantheon group up mid, while Vayne is pushing top. I get caught in the jungle by Shaco and I'm forced to flash away in order to escape. Shaco goes after Vayne, and both leave top as the enemy team slowly pushes mid. Blitzcrank grabs Braum, but Braum ults. In the resulting Chaos, I grab Aatrox, pull him back, proc his passive, and kill him when he reemerges. That impels them to retreat, and we give chase. Blitzcrank pulls and kills Vayne. Pantheon ults in behind our opponents. They turn toward their jungle once they pass the river, attempting to avoid Pantheon, but he catches them. Blitzcrank kills Pantheon, but I catch up. Orianna takes Twisted Fate out. I kill Blitzcrank. Ashe kills Orianna. I kill Ashe. Braum has retreated into our base, so it's just me and Shaco. But he kills me. Shaco makes a show of going mid to push, but leaves when Braum shows up. Both teams wait to respawn and regroup. 34 minutes in, it's 25 to 37.

Vayne catches Aatrox in the enemy jungle and, with Orianna's help, kills him. Twisted Fate shows up, but she gets him too. Ashe's ult hits Vayne. We chase through their jungle, but I'm way behind everyone else. Ashe finishes Vayne off. I show up and dive into the fray. Pantheon finishes Ashe, then Blitzcrank. Shaco escapes into their base. My teammates fall back, injured. I keep clearing jungle camps. Now my Tear is fully stacked and I also have Blade of the Ruined King and 46 stacks on my Feral Flare. We push into the enemy base through the mid lane. Twisted Fate ults in as Orianna destroys their inhibitor turret. Pantheon kills Twisted Fate. I chase Shaco, but can't catch him, of course. Blitzcrank pulls Braum into their nexus turrets. Orianna picks Shaco off as I retreat, and Ashe finishes Braum. Ashe kills Orianna too. Pantheon chucks a spear and kills Ashe. Blitzcrank and Aatrox try to kill Pantheon at the inhibitor, but Vayne comes in as Pantheon's Guardian Angel procs, and Vayne kills Aatrox, allowing Pantheon to escape. Blitzcrank pulls Vayne into the nexus turrets and she dies, with Blitzcrank just barely surviving her continued attacks. By this point, I have Muramana. With the enemy inhibitor still being pushed, I grab blue buff and and solo Baron. No one notices until I'm done. That gives me 50 Feral Flare stacks. The enemy team takes the dragon, but that's not going to make up for Baron. We group mid for another push. Ashe tries to stop the minions pushing bot, but Pantheon ganks her. We push to the mid inhibitor. Pantheon ults in as I kill Aatrox. I destroy the inhibitor, but Pantheon gets pulled into the nexus turrets and Shaco kills him. I chase Blitzcrank with Orianna's help. Shaco kills Orianna, then I kill Blitzcrank. I flash away, but eat a turret shot and Shaco gets the kill on me too. Twisted Fate finishes Braum off, and they've gotten us out of their base, but Vayne is now pushing bot. She destroys the inner turret, then flashes over a wall to avoid an ult gank by Twisted Fate, and manages to Tumble away from Shaco for an excellent escape. At 40 minutes in, the team score is 36 to 45, but we're ahead by three turrets and an inhibitor.

As we begin looking to control more objectives, Blitzcrank initiates on Braum at mid with Rocket Grab. The enemies stick to Braum, but he ults them and gets away. I charge in, kill Blitzcrank, kill Twisted Fate, and charge onward to push mid. Shaco kills Orianna in the top lane and comes mid to stop me. Pantheon catches Aatrox and I proc his passive, with Vayne finishing him off. Ashe and Shaco run into the enemy base and clear super minions. Braum recalls, Vayne and Pantheon push bot, and I keep stacking Feral Flare. I get it to 60 before recalling. Shaco ganks Vayne and Pantheon, picking up a double kill and preserving the enemy bot lane. Braum and Orianna push mid and I come in behind them. Orianna shields me, and I charge into the enemy jungle to kill Aatrox. Shaco and I pass by each other. I kill Aatrox and Shaco caught Orianna and killed her. I went after Twisted Fate next, picked him off. I attacked Blitzcrank as Shaco and Ashe closed in on Braum, but Braum jumped to me and continued to draw Ashe attacks with his low health. Just before I could kill Blitzcrank, Braum got the last hit on him. Ashe finished off Braum and I finished off Shaco, then I took Ashe out too, giving me a quadra kill (which would have been, but for one stray Braum attack at just the wrong time, a penta). I then took out the mid inhibitor and brought minions into the base. I destroyed a nexus turret, then Pantheon ulted onto the enemy nexus and the two of us finished the match at 44:21. I had 66 Feral Flare stacks with a final score of 15/5/15.

Going for the Gold Part XXVII: Bronze II, Take II

After playing League of Legends for over two years and accumulating over a thousand normal games, I finally entered ranked play. In my own, totally objective, assessment, I am skilled enough for Gold. My placement matches disagreed, and threw me into Bronze II. More recently after failing to climb out of Bronze I, the ladder was reset and I found myself placed lower still, all the down way at the bottom of Bronze V. The Ranked matches I've played so far have clearly marked me as a Bronze player. This is the story of my attempt to prove them wrong. This is Going for the Gold.

This weekend is destroying my Ranked record. I queued up for a new game in the division I just got demoted back to. I was fourth pick. The person with last pick called support. Our first pick took Jax top. Second pick took Ahri mid. Third pick took Twitch, but also said "jungle" and grabbed Smite. Seeing that we had an ADC jungle and that I was filling the carry role bot lane, I figured my on-hit Kayle would be the best bet. When my teammates asked, I clarified that I was going on-hit. So our last pick took Nami. Jax whined that we needed an ADC, so at the last second Nami switched to Miss Fortune. Now we had two ranged AD carries. And of course, both fed. But that's not so strange, as our whole team fed. Ahri lost lane to Annie. Aatrox outjungled Twitch, which is about as predictable as it gets. The enemy bot lane of Lucian and Morgana beat me soundly while Miss Fortune mostly just hid in the brush (and got killed every once in a while). Jax held out in a stalemate against Irelia, but that wasn't enough to save his lane with Aatrox there to help. My hope was that we could stall long enough to catch up with our incredible late game potential. If we'd lasted, we would have had one of the highest scaling late game carries, a second ranged carry, one of the highest scaling melee fighters, a mobile burst mage, and my on-hit Kayle That would give us good poke, good initiation, considerable utility, and more damage than the other team. But getting there was looking unlikely. I was going to try, but no one else on my team wanted to. They outvoted me and surrendered. So I went 1/5/0. I have no respect for people who surrender in Ranked games. We had a chance, however slim. And these morons just decided it would be better to give away their LP than fight for that chance. Unacceptable. Anyway, that's eight losses in a row. I lost 16 LP and am down to 59 LP in Bronze III. I'm also down 29 wins, 32 losses. I can't believe how poorly Ranked is going for me now. I'd say something about bad luck, but it seems so pointless right now.

Well, I got my first pick Karthus, and for the first time this season, I didn't get fed. We had Karthus (me), Kayle (top), Wukong (jungle), Twitch (ADC), and Leona (support) against Katarina (mid), Teemo (top), Fiora (jungle), Miss Fortune (ADC), and Alistar (support). I say I didn't get fed, and it's true, but I didn't quite get carried either. What happened was that my lane opponent didn't try to roam, so I easily outfarmed her and avoided being killed. Meanwhile, Wukong got fed off the side lanes and through counterganks in the side lanes, as both junglers ignored mid. Twitch also got fed, so by the end those two had 13 kills each. Because they were getting fed, there weren't opportunities for me to get an edge by picking off enemies with my ult. In teamfights, my CS, much higher than anyone else's, allowed me to contribute, but kills were taken out from under me, even when I did all of the damage except for getting the last hit. I eventually made a mistake, thinking Leona had my back in the jungle and I got chased down and killed by Miss Fortune and Katarina while I still didn't have Sorcerer's Shoes. I also picked up a kill on Teemo when I finally got an opening to finish someone off without having it taken away by a teammate. But 1/1 isn't fed. In the very last teamfight, I was the cleanup crew. My allies finally overextended in an effort to take the nexus, and they got caught, allowing me to score three more kills. So my final score was 4/1/15. Very underwhelming compared to my other Karthus games this season. But we did win. At long last, the losing streak has been broken. I just got 20 LP, bringing me up to 79. I can hardly believe that losing streak has finally been put to a halt.

Yet again, I got first pick, and was set to play Karthus against Ziggs. Then someone dodged. Well, I got mostly the same people, and mostly the same situation, even though I wasn't first pick. So our team consisted of Karthus (me), Jax (top), Vi (jungle), Jinx (ADC), and Nautilus (support). The other team had Ziggs (mid), Wukong (top), Volibear (jungle), Miss Fortune (ADC), and Thresh (support). And this time, I did get fed. The enemy Ziggs tried to harass me, but I'm ready for that, so I survived and outfarmed him, then started killing his teammates. To be clear, our Jax and Jinx were also fed in this game, and Vi and Nautilus were doing a good job of supporting them, so that I got fed too, and not as hard, was really just the icing on the cake. I went 5/1/4 before the enemy team surrendered. This victory has propelled me into a promo series. If I win two out of my next three games, I make it back into Bronze II just a little worse for the wear (my MMR will be lower from all the losses, but at least I'll be back there). Still, I haven't gotten there yet. But I'll do those games before I post this update, so you'll see soon enough. I'll probably even put it in the title, so it's not even a mystery by this point.

For the first game in the new series, I was last pick, and everyone else called everything but ADC. I haven't given up on playing the role, but I'm on a self-imposed hiatus from it until I figure some things out. I have a nearly 80% loss ratio as ADC this season, and I pointed this out to my allies. First pick offered to trade with me if I could support as Morgana, but was vague about whether or not it was happening when I responded. To be safe, I took Tristana. In the last five seconds, the first pick did make the trade request, and I accepted and switched my runes and masteries to Morgana ones. I forget if I've mentioned it here before, but I've done pretty well with Morgana as a support. However, I actually play her as what I call a "fake support." I take the same runes and masteries as I would for a Swain solo lane, and I don't buy any support items whatsoever, although I do buy and place wards. Instead of support items, I buy expensive mage items like Rod of Ages, Liandry's Torment, and Zhonya's Hourglass. As a support, I get gold-starved doing this and progress is slow, but Morgana as a support isn't about raw power, but about timing, maneuvering, and landing skillshots, none of which require items. Support items would give me more early game capability, but I take the risk of assuming that I can grind out some AP items and become a strong mage for teamfights. In this particular game, it worked. My carry didn't play very well, but the enemy botlane was also technically deficient, so I was able to keep bot lane under control. It was pretty close for a while, and then I got a triple kill with my ult that let us push into their base for the first time. We didn't win right away, but they reacted poorly to losing the teamfight and never really got organized again so that they could beat us. In total team kills, the game was close up until the end, 39 to 35 in our favor. Renekton got fed, but Warwick and Quinn got fed too, while Thresh put up a good performance supporting. We only won because our opponents failed to adjust after losing a few key teamfights, clearly arguing amongst themselves instead of trying to adapt and recover, which let us win fights that we should have lost. Our Udyr gave up a lot of kills and was too focused on stacking Feral Flare rather than on not feeding. Our Malzahar came out behind and insulted the Tristana who did about as well in the game as he did. Fortunately, I came back from a precarious laning phase to wreck my enemies with CC, ultimately going 6/4/16. If I can just win one out of my next two matches, I'll be able to start undoing some of the damage wrought by the events of my previous post.

For the second game in the series, I got last pick again. They asked for Morg, so they got Morg. Specifically, we had Gragas (mid), Volibear (top), Kha'Zix (jungle), Quinn (ADC), and Morgana (me) against Orianna (mid), Renekton (top), Jax (jungle), Ashe (ADC), and Blitzcrank (support). I gave up first blood trying to help Quinn, but shook it off, ran back to the lane, and picked up a kill when Kha'Zix couldn't quite finish Ashe off. From there, we got Quinn fed. The rest of the team did fairly well (Volibear had problems and Kha'Zix got too aggressive, but Gragas got pretty fed and Quinn continued getting extremely fed), and our opponents fell behind and were dominated. I went 6/3/19. So now, I'm back in Bronze II! I have 33 wins and 32 losses, so my MMR can't be that bad. Let's try this again, Bronze II. But not today. Some other day. I've accomplished what I wanted to. I've mostly cancelled out the horrible losing streak that bumped be out of Bronze II in the first place.

Going for the Gold Part XXVI: Instantly Demoted

After playing League of Legends for over two years and accumulating over a thousand normal games, I finally entered ranked play. In my own, totally objective, assessment, I am skilled enough for Gold. My placement matches disagreed, and threw me into Bronze II. More recently after failing to climb out of Bronze I, the ladder was reset and I found myself placed lower still, all the down way at the bottom of Bronze V. The Ranked matches I've played so far have clearly marked me as a Bronze player. This is the story of my attempt to prove them wrong. This is Going for the Gold.

I ended my previous post on such a positive note, so of course this one has to start out on a horrible one. I just had one of my worst Ranked games ever. All nine other people in the game were just wretched individuals and I wound up muting every single one of them. Uh, it was Fizz (mid), Mordekaiser (me), Nasus (jungle), Ezreal (ADC), and Sona (support) against Ryze (mid), Aatrox (top), Vi (jungle), Lucian (ADC), and Morgana (support). Of course I was able to push, but Vi camped me while Nasus sat around doing nothing, so I was bullied and fell behind. Then for some reason I couldn't ult. I had a point into it, but pressing "R" didn't do a damn thing. That got me killed twice, which put me so far behind I couldn't catch up. My allies fed Ryze anyway, and he snowballed and destroyed us while talking shit in the chat. I tried to get caught up, but I'd be by myself always because no one on my team would ever, not even once, go with me. The only times I'd see them would be defending our base, and also twice when they'd steal a last hit on Ryze after I ulted him and ignited him and one more tick from either was going to kill him anyway. I went 1/8/2 (with both of my assists being blatant robberies in which I outmaneuvered and killed the most dominant person in the game because he overextended, only to have it snatched away from me). But I don't even care, because this entire game was stupid. Oh well, it doesn't lower my LP anyway, just my MMR. So it's kind of a free one and I'll take it. If there's going to be some game where I hate every single other player in it with a seething rage, then it might as well be the first game after a promotion. I can bounce back from this.


And I'm back to first pick domination. Kind of. Karthus (me), Dr. Mundo (top), Evelynn (jungle), Vayne (ADC), and Lux (support) against Fizz (mid), Nasus (top), Vi (jungle), Graves (ADC), and Soraka (support). That was the worst performance I've put up against a Fizz in a while, for no real reason. I was just off my game, wasting my Flash needlessly and missing Lay Waste far too much. I didn't feed or anything, but I didn't do that well either. Eventually I picked up some kills and I was 5/1/9 by the time the other team surrendered. Still, I'm annoyed at how I had two games in a row in which things went wrong for me. Oh well, it's still a win, and now I'm up 26 LP.

Well, I got mid again, but this time I didn't want to risk Karthus (not first pick), so I took Malzahar. My allies had Wukong (top), Xin Zhao (jungle), Sivir (ADC), and Janna (support). Our opponents had Nidalee (mid), Darius (top), Kha'Zix (jungle), Jinx (ADC), and Leona (support). Laning against a Nidalee as Malzahar turned out to be pretty easy and I outfarmed her, but all of my allies except Wukong were completely outclassed, which led to Kha'Zix getting fed and carrying against us. I could have done some things differently, but this one was pretty dire anyway. I went 3/4/11 and would have gone positive if people would stop stealing last hits on my ult kills already (seriously, first the Mordekaiser game, then this one). All of my allies died way more than that, with Wukong dying 9 times and the others even more. This wasn't a "can't carry feeders" game though, because I didn't really do that well anyway. Malzahar probably isn't that safe a pick for me. I lack experience with him. Lesson learned, I guess. That drops me by 14 LP. My MMR will still let me climb if I win a bit more than I lose, but it's going to start getting tough soon, I'm sure.

Next game, I was last pick and assumed that I'd fill and probably support. First and second pick were a Pantheon and a Kennen that both volunteered to either top or mid (it ended up being Kennen mid, Pantheon top). Third pick took Jax jungle. Fourth pick took Yasuo. There was a bunch of bickering in the chat, but I wasn't going to suffer through another troll support as Tristana, so I picked Morgana and said I'd support Yasuo. Our opponents had Malzahar (mid), Tryndamere (top), Hecarim (jungle), Caitlyn (ADC), and Fiddlesticks (support). Of course, we were initially able to bully Caitlyn and Fiddlesticks, but it wasn't accomplishing anything. I suppose that mid failed first and hardest, but all four of my teammates fed. Yasuo was, of course, one of those players who pretends that the "meta" is just so stifling, and that it's totally productive to try stupid crap that doesn't work and then declare it to be a moral victory on account of having had fun. We still lost, jackass. I went 1/0/8. Can't carry feeders, especially when playing as a support. That strips me of my remaining 12 LP. Back down to 0 again. Thanks, trolls and feeders.

Dammit, these trolls are going to get me demoted. I tried again, but I was last pick and my team apparently decided I should be the ADC. I never have good games in that role anymore. It's getting really, really tiresome. And actually rather uncanny. In this case, it was Katarina (mid), Darius (top), Kha'Zix (jungle), Tristana (me), and Soraka (support) against Heimerdinger (mid), Wukong (top), Warwick (jungle), Twitch (ADC), and Morgana (support). Morgana and Twitch bullied me constantly and got first blood with a level 2 turret dive. They killed Soraka and drove Kha'Zix away, but I teleported in and picked Twitch off before he could get away. They continued to destroy us there, and the other lanes also failed, with Katarina force-feeding Heimerdinger and whining about Heimerdinger not being banned. I went 2/4/7, which is impressive compared to the rest of my team, but that's not the point. The point is that I lost yet again. I had this sinking feeling when I found out that I was ADC. I used to love the role, but I've just taken such a beating there that I can't stand it. Well, I'm done for the night, and I'm still at 0 LP. How long has it been since I won a non-Karthus game? I forget. The optimism of my previous post seems so distant now, and I'm all melancholy and crap. Maybe I can turn this around tomorrow...

Nope. Enemy team banned Kassadin, so I got my Karthus mid, but our captain didn't ban Yi because he was going to be able to totally destroy Yi. Guess what? It didn't happen. I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you! It was Karthus (me), Alistar (top), Xin Zhao (jungle and totally going to get around to beating Yi at some point), Lucian (ADC), and Vel'Koz (support). Our opponents had Mordekaiser (mid), Renekton (top), Master Yi (jungle), Vayne (ADC), and Morgana (support). I went 8/5/10, with all four of my allies dying way more and killing considerably less. Vel'Koz raged at Alistar in the pre-game lobby for picking a support and continued to rage constantly throughout the entire match, and in the post-game lobby too. Xin Zhao and Lucian folded after taking a beating and kept trying to surrender. Alistar never said anything. I was the only one who seemed to want to win. So yeah, that's another loss at 0 LP. This is driving me crazy. And this is why you ban Yi. This is why you ban Yi. This is why, this is why, this is why you ban Yi.

I tried a duo queue with Justin (Schweizerhof). I got first pick, but I messed up. He'd asked to mid, but was last pick. I asked if he wanted me to pick a mid for him, but he asked if I had LeBlanc, and I did not. So instead of just taking mid and relying on my Karthus to carry, I first picked Amumu and jungled. We ended up with Morgana (mid), Tryndamere (top), Amumu (me), Lucian (Justin), and Nidalee (support). Our opponents had Kayle (mid), Lee Sin (top), Rammus (jungle), Ezreal (ADC), and Pantheon (support). Morgana was dominated mid, but would spam pings all over me whenever I showed up to try to help, asking nonsense like, "Are you blind?" or whatever. It made no sense. Usually they were retreat pings, and I was demonstrably in no danger whatsoever, but she kept doing it. At one point, after doing that enough times that I swore off helping mid and started to head bot, Morgana demanded that I cover mid. Since I didn't, she raged at me even more. Then she raged at me for taking my second blue buff, and for every fight she was in after that in which she didn't have blue buff, even if I didn't either. Tryndamere was almost as bad. Initially, he tried to do the whole annoyingly proactive team player bullshit, saying how we needed to stay positive and not give up, meanwhile minions hadn't even spawned yet. He then overextended constantly and died a lot. He also complained in a roundabout way by using hypotheticals. Instead of asking for help, he'd wait until he died, then ask questions along the lines of, "If there are four of them top, why are the other lanes frozen?" Yeah, yeah, and if a train leaves Boston at stop doing that and talk like a normal person. So yeah, with such a disadvantage, our team was dominated and we were defeated in short order. Just kidding! I was all over the enemies, thwarting them in fights and generally being an engine of total destruction. I went 8/3/6. We still eventually lost, and I was pretty annoyed, but I took a break and got over it before proceeding. Maybe I'll get demoted, but I don't need to be livid about it. Losing streaks happen.

It's a good thing that I was determined to be calm for my next match, because this keeps happening. I got first pick, and with that I had some hope that my losing streak was about to end. My team was Karthus (me), Teemo (mid), Shyvana (jungle), Twitch (ADC), and Lulu (support). Our opponents had Kha'Zix (mid), Riven (top), Elise (jungle), Caitlyn (ADC), and Blitzcrank (support). Of course, I wasn't about to let Kha'Zix kill me, and I even managed to eventually surpass his CS. Unfortunately for our team, the enemy Elise was quite good. She attacked me and kept me from getting ahead in the laning phase, counterjungled and killed Shyvana, and put pressure on Teemo to stop him from beating Riven in lane. She had her work cut out for her, but she didn't spend much time bot, which was her undoing because—just kidding: we had "first time Twitch" who couldn't do anything except feed and bitch. I could see that I wouldn't get fed quickly enough to save my team. Once I did get fed, we caught up and were ahead on kills overall. I urged caution, pointing out that we had strong late game potential if we could play safely and get there. Right after I did that, my allies charged in and fed. Yeah, I'd have been pretty mad, but I'd told myself to remain calm and focus on the things I could control, so instead of being mad, I was absolutely flipping the fuck out. But not in the chat or anything. No point in raging at my teammates for doing the opposite of the thing that I told them to do, right after I'd said it. No, I didn't rage in the chat until Twitch started hurling blame at others for throwing. In the end, I was 9/3/11. As usual in these losses, my teammates each had twice as many deaths as I did, or even more than that. But complaining about my terrible teammates will get me nowhere. So I'll just chill out and try again. After all, what are the odds that I'll actually be demoted back down to Bronze III?

Apparently, those odds are pretty good! I was last pick, but by this point I'd stopped caring. My teammates asked me to jungle. Sure! In fact, I'll even communicate with you and ask what sort of jungler you'd prefer? Tanky? Well, they already picked Amumu, but I have Maokai? Perfect, you say? Oh, that's good. Well, we had Viktor (mid), Renekton (top), Maokai (me), Jinx (ADC), and Thresh (support) against Mordekaiser (mid), Teemo (top), Twitch (ADC), and Nidalee (support). Of course, our Viktor wasn't prepared for Mordekaiser at all and was bullied constantly. Renekton was also outplayed by Teemo, and our bot lane started failing too. If only they had a jungler to babysit them. Oh wait, they did! Yes, I did it. I somehow managed to babysit those lanes. I even got fed. It wasn't enough, mainly because they just kept dying. I didn't want to harass them, but it sure seemed like they should have learned which things were killing them and to stop letting those things kill them. Or maybe that's just crazy talk. So yeah, I went 5/1/7. And K/D/A isn't everything, or else I wouldn't be in this predicament, but the two next best on my team were Viktor with 5/8/4 and Thresh with 3/7/6. I tried, but I just couldn't keep these guys alive. And with that defeat, I've been demoted to Bronze III.

I saw this coming far back enough that I'm not truly upset over it. I know I have to take it in stride or whatever. Losing streaks happen, and this one happened with attitude. After being promoted to Bronze II, I lost a game, won a game, and then lost seven consecutive games. I got fed in most of them, but a loss is a loss, especially as far as the ladder is concerned. Maybe it also helps that this was what was happening to me all last season, so I'm not surprised by it. Still, I can't help being just a little bit heartbroken by this. I mean, I was off to such a bad start, and then I rocketed through the ladder, getting promoted back to where I'd started off last season. I was, perhaps irrationally, thinking of everything that happened in this whole season as prologue, as preliminary. I was finally back to my original starting point and I was going to advance further than I ever had. I was going to tear through Bronze II like I had the other divisions before it, and get my second shot at the formidable Bronze I ladder with its devastating clamps. Well, my imagination got the better of me, and none of that happened. Dammit! If I'd won and lost games for a while and eventually lost more than I'd won and been demoted, that would be something. I'd have been beaten by attrition. That happened last season, and I chalked it up to ridiculous luck (because it couldn't possibly be my fault), dusted myself off, and tried to make the climb back up. But to get my promotion and then go right back down? Now I'm depressed. I'm depressed by a game. I've told myself that I'm stubborn and that I won't give up no matter what matchmaking throws at me. I still think that. And yet, thinking about how this is a game and that it's so depressing, I can see why Nick left (well, the time drain was the main reason, but other than that, I mean). This is a hobby. Persisting in a trivial hobby if it's depressing you has got to be some sort of pathological something. So now what?

Going for the Gold Part XXV: Right Back Where We Started From

After playing League of Legends for over two years and accumulating over a thousand normal games, I finally entered ranked play. In my own, totally objective, assessment, I am skilled enough for Gold. My placement matches disagreed, and threw me into Bronze II. More recently after failing to climb out of Bronze I, the ladder was reset and I found myself placed lower still, all the down way at the bottom of Bronze V. The Ranked matches I've played so far have clearly marked me as a Bronze player. This is the story of my attempt to prove them wrong. This is Going for the Gold.

First match in promo series. First pick. This will be one down, one to go. Karthus (me), Jax (top), Jarvan IV (jungle), Jinx (ADC), Nidalee (support). And we're up against Vel'Koz (mid), Shyvana (top), Warwick (jungle), Tristana (ADC), and Leona (support). I outfarm Vel'Koz from the start, but the enemy team works to end the laning phase early by forcing fights at Dragon and using Warwick to bully the side lanes. For a long time, I can't pick up kills, but do I worry? No, I am Karthus. So I go 14/3/12 and carry us to victory. I mean, having Jarvan to tank for me was helpful, and Jinx eventually snowballed after I already had, so she made the last few teamfights easy. But basically, it was another Karthus domination. Jarvan invites me to duo. Hell yes, this guy was good in our game, so I'll give it a shot.

I took a chance and grabbed Karthus when Kassadin was still open, a rule I never usually break. It paid off this time, and we got Karthus (me), Shyvana (top), Amumu (jungle), Vayne (ADC), and Blitzcrank (Enderhunter, my duo queue partner, supporting). The enemy team had Fizz (mid), Jax (top), Kha'Zix (jungle), Sivir (ADC), and Alistar (support). Kha'Zix helped Fizz, but I managed to kill Fizz with my ult every time they killed me, so I didn't fall behind and actually outfarmed him and outscaled him as I'd hoped. The other lanes were behind at first, but eventually Vayne got fed and I got fed, which was far too much for the other team to handle, and we won decisively. I went 11/4/13. And with that victory, I'm not in Bronze II.

I'll get back to Ranked play this weekend for sure, since it's a double IP weekend. But I'm pausing for now to relish the fact that I've finally cancelled out my placement matches for this season. I started last season in Bronze II, made it to Bronze I, got demoted, and closed the season in Bronze II. Everything up to this point has just been climbing back to where I'd been last season. And I intend to surpass last season, hopefully by a lot. Two more promotions and I'm in Silver. Things are looking good.